women trouble (advice needed)

NothingInVain - 12-14-2008 at 09:38 PM

I have known this chick for almost a year now and she's absolutely perfect in every way. I'm an idiot when it comes to relationship bulshit because I'm so old and jaded which leads me to forget she is absolutely nothing like the other dumb bitches I've been with in my past.

This girl is beautiful, intelligent, hilarious, caring, understanding.. Everything you could ever want in a woman. But I'm scared as shit due to the fact that she makes me feel more vulnerable than anyone ever has.

I guess I need stories of things working out/advice.

I need some serious wisdom and encouragement to get the balls to make sit work with this girl. I've never been on to think about marriage but this girl has me twisted.

random - 12-14-2008 at 10:20 PM

Do you have an account you post from more often? You've got two posts, and the first was this one from six months ago...

Quote:

Originally posted by NothingInVain
I WANNA BITCH WITH EXTENSIONS IN HER HAIR. BAMBOO EARRINGS, ATLEAST 2 PAIR!

As for advice... I'd avoid Sheer Terror and Blood for Blood for a while.

morgan - 12-14-2008 at 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by random
As for advice... I'd avoid Sheer Terror and Blood for Blood for a while.

Very good idea.

But in the event things go badly, I'd prescribe a heavy dose of each.

random - 12-14-2008 at 10:44 PM

morgan, I'm a fan of whatever place you got your medical degree.

NothingInVain - 12-14-2008 at 11:06 PM

Hahaha! I haven't had the downtime to be on the computer in a long while. My moms got very ill so I had been stayin with her. She's doin a lot better now so I got to move back into my place and have sometime for myself to geek around on the internet.

Fellas, this woman is the real deal. Hell, last time I saw her she made me dinner, was wearing a sheer terror shirt and looked beautiful as ever.

morgan - 12-14-2008 at 11:24 PM

Sorry to here about the issues with you mom, that always sucks. Wish I could give some relationship advice but my life has pretty much one long string of failed relationships. Most of which went south pretty fucking quick.

Rich Uncle Skeleton - 12-15-2008 at 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by morgan

Quote:

Originally posted by random
As for advice... I'd avoid Sheer Terror and Blood for Blood for a while.

Very good idea.

But in the event things go badly, I'd prescribe a heavy dose of each.

Had a situation like his recently. It went way south, but at least now I can recite every lyric on "Spit My Last Breath" a cappella.

Honestly, that album, any Sheer Terror, and Neglect are dangerous to listen to when one is feeling like shit.

morgan - 12-15-2008 at 01:52 AM

Get me drunk, pissed off, and listening to Spit My Last Breath or Revenge on Society and bad thinks will happen.

Furly - 12-15-2008 at 02:23 AM

I've come to realize most guys are idiots at the relationship crap, but that dosen't matter. It also dosen't matter if you're old and jadded. If you really dig her, tell her. What's really the worst that could happen? She dosen't dig you back? Yeah, it'll suck for you, but if she really is "understanding" your friendship will not be harmed.

I also suggest cooking for her. Not just mac and cheese from the box either. And if you don't know how, it dosen't hurt to try. If it comes out like crap, atleast she will know your tring to do something outside of your box to impress her. Girls like that sorta crap.

Mickey - 12-15-2008 at 10:32 AM

I always look at situations like this....is it gonna kill ya...no, then game on. This girl may be the one, but if it doesn't work out they are like bus'.....another will come along in 20 minutes. If she's cooking you dinner she's probably into you as well.....game on.

NothingInVain - 12-15-2008 at 07:18 PM

She lives a few hours away from me so I'm trying to make plans to go see her either this weekend or next. I hope it's not too little too late. I need to figure out something special to do for her.. She deserves the world and I hope she lets me give it to her. I'm just scared I've made way too many empty promises due to me being so scared

franklo - 12-15-2008 at 08:57 PM

Ive always compared relationships to street fights.You might get knocked out,fat lipped,or blacked out,but you usually survive.either way at the end you have your homies to drink and
have a laugh.-Franklo :thumbup:

Enyo - 12-15-2008 at 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by franklo
Ive always compared relationships to street fights.You might get knocked out,fat lipped,or blacked out,but you usually survive.either way at the end you have your homies to drink and
have a laugh.-Franklo :thumbup:

Excellent philosophy. :thumbup:

BKT - 12-16-2008 at 02:34 AM

Want my advice. Go to the tit bar and get wasted. Then keep doing that until you are over the dame. Worked for me every time.

MM.

DaveMoral - 12-16-2008 at 02:49 AM

I'm gonna tell you this dude... vulnerability can be a good thing with a girl. I mean, you feel vulnerable why? Because you want to open up to this chick? You might want to throw it all out there on the table, and that can be a good thing. I just wouldn't rush it, because if the chick's not feeling the same way that shit can scare her right the hell outta there.

What the fuck do I know though... I still don't have this marriage thing down.

Mark Lind - 12-16-2008 at 04:18 PM

Quote:

last time I saw her she was wearing a sheer terror shirt and looked beautiful as ever.

marry her.

Enyo - 12-16-2008 at 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by metal mulisha
Want my advice. Go to the tit bar and get wasted. Then keep doing that until you are over the dame. Worked for me every time.

MM.

you could marry her.. OR.. you could do this.

Marriage or tits... it's a hard choice.

Discipline - 12-16-2008 at 04:33 PM

Ask her if she'll give you a blumpkin. If she doesn't run away screaming, she's a keeper.

Enyo - 12-16-2008 at 04:40 PM

ok- I had to google blumpkin.

Discipline- Seriously? Are there women who wouldn't run from that? (ok, I have the internet.. I KNOW there are women who would enjoy that, but Geez!)

random - 12-16-2008 at 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Discipline
Ask her if she'll give you a blumpkin. If she doesn't run away screaming, she's a keeper.

And if you ask... and she does it... and you videotape it... it is guaranteed that someone on the Thorp board will find the video, post the link, and fail to describe the video, so that only half of us are retarded enough to click on it.

But it still won't be as bad as the guy with the pickle jar.

Discipline - 12-16-2008 at 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Enyo
ok- I had to google blumpkin.

Discipline- Seriously? Are there women who wouldn't run from that? (ok, I have the internet.. I KNOW there are women who would enjoy that, but Geez!)

I've never tried it, but I figure if she was willing, she'd be a keeper.

Enyo - 12-16-2008 at 08:45 PM

How about something that doesn't involve poo?

Furly - 12-16-2008 at 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Enyo
How about something that doesn't involve poo?

You're no fun!

upyerbum - 12-16-2008 at 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by franklo
Ive always compared relationships to street fights.

Ha! I've been in a 19 year street fight!

Enyo - 12-16-2008 at 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Furly

Quote:

Originally posted by Enyo
How about something that doesn't involve poo?

You're no fun!

Ah.. you found me out. :smilegrin:

Murk - 12-17-2008 at 12:03 AM

speaking of blumpkins, are there any penis havers here who have been able to maintain an erection while moving their bowels?

upyerbum - 12-17-2008 at 12:04 AM

I can't say that I've ever tried particularly hard.

Enyo - 12-17-2008 at 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Murk
speaking of blumpkins, are there any penis havers here who have been able to maintain an erection while moving their bowels?

What exactly would be the point?

ps- I'm sure there are... Scat videos, anyone?

Murk - 12-17-2008 at 12:07 AM

my point is that i think the blumpkin is comedic urban legend.

upyerbum - 12-17-2008 at 12:07 AM

So, we have come full circle again to poo. I'm not sure how long it took this time. :freak:

DaveMoral - 12-17-2008 at 01:30 AM

It always comes back to poo doesn't it?

Erections while moving the bowels... I could never, I always have to piss when I shit. I concentrate real hard to lose the wood in those situations.

morgan - 12-17-2008 at 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by random

Quote:

Originally posted by Discipline
Ask her if she'll give you a blumpkin. If she doesn't run away screaming, she's a keeper.

Is it bad that I laughed knowing that thanks to me that image has been permanently burned into someone's mind? :smilegrin:

BDx13 - 12-17-2008 at 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Murk
speaking of blumpkins, are there any penis havers here who have been able to maintain an erection while moving their bowels?

it seems you've thrown down the gauntlet, sir!

Enyo - 12-17-2008 at 02:05 AM

Okay.. now I'm actually curious.
BD- are you really going to try this? I live with a penis haver but I can't imagine the reaction I would get if I asked this.

is there a female version of the blumpkin? Why are these things always male dominated? I'm sure I could think of something horribly depraved to do with my genitals too.

Discipline - 12-17-2008 at 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Enyo
Okay.. now I'm actually curious.
BD- are you really going to try this? I live with a penis haver but I can't imagine the reaction I would get if I asked this.

is there a female version of the blumpkin? Why are these things always male dominated? I'm sure I could think of something horribly depraved to do with my genitals too.

Ask and ye shall receive

Enyo - 12-17-2008 at 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Discipline

Ask and ye shall receive

You naughty naughty boy.

Discipline - 12-17-2008 at 04:21 PM

:baddevil:

barc0debaby - 12-18-2008 at 12:25 AM

Anal.

REV.PAULIE - 12-18-2008 at 07:27 AM

random - 12-18-2008 at 08:29 AM

Here's the video Paulie was trying to post: http://www.youtube.com/v/QcYS7Q9LzWY&hl

Furly - 12-18-2008 at 12:56 PM

So I was having coffee with a friend of mine who use to be a pro, I always enjoy her stories of the streets, so I asked her if she's ever given a blumpkin, she had never been asked or know anyone that has.

But she did get paid to have a guy wash her hair, french braid it, cum in it, then wash and braid it again. Easy $50 made!

And she had a guy that used to buy tons of coke, smoke it and blow it in her ass. $100 and coke!!!

BDx13 - 12-18-2008 at 01:26 PM

^ ...she told me that was out little secret!

Furly - 12-18-2008 at 01:43 PM

I know all your little secrets.

Enyo - 12-18-2008 at 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Furly
So I was having coffee with a friend of mine who use to be a pro, I always enjoy her stories of the streets, so I asked her if she's ever given a blumpkin, she had never been asked or know anyone that has.

But she did get paid to have a guy wash her hair, french braid it, cum in it, then wash and braid it again. Easy $50 made!

And she had a guy that used to buy tons of coke, smoke it and blow it in her ass. $100 and coke!!!

Damn she was getting ripped off!

I have a friend who is still doing fetish work and she makes $400 to smoke in front of this guy while he jerks off. Another guy pays $250 for her to take his temp rectally several times over an hour or so.

BDx13 - 12-18-2008 at 03:48 PM

what can i say...i'm a good negotiator!

franklo - 12-18-2008 at 06:03 PM

^Whatever Mr. pee pee. :tumble:

Furly - 12-18-2008 at 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Enyo

Quote:

This girl isn't that high class. She was your typical crack whore who did almost anything for a few bucks. They're a dime a dozen around here, what you won't do for $50 someone else would do for $30.

On the bright side, she is now 13 years clean.