Out of curiosity....

Enyo - 12-20-2008 at 01:44 AM

How do you guys feel about transracial adoption?
Specifically- white people raising black children.

Got into a debate over this recently, and I'm just interested to hear from a group of people who I know will be honest.

DAK - 12-20-2008 at 02:14 AM

Why should it matter?

defstarsteve - 12-20-2008 at 02:26 AM

anyone who has a problem with it needs to have their eyes removed with a hot poker...
than let's see how much it matters

kids need love and positive home enviroments
as long as the parents can supply that I don't care about race, sexual preference, religion, age, or past...

some of the worst people I have known have turned out to be great parents in the end
and those who try to be all soccer momish are usually full of shit and hate their kids...

random - 12-20-2008 at 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by defstarsteve

kids need love and positive home enviroments
as long as the parents can supply that I don't care about race, sexual preference, religion, age, or past...

Steve summed it up right there. The only argument I can see against it has to do with the psychological effects on the kid. Both the kid always feeling 'different' from his parents, and all the shitbags in society who will have a problem with it and take it out on the kid in some way. But there are too many kids who need families and aren't being adopted now, and I think that has much more detrimental effects on the child. The answer there isn't to ban or discourage transracial adoption... it's to make sure that the parents are more prepared to deal with the issues in an appropriate manner, because they will come up.

But if you're talking about the fetish/novelty of white actresses visiting African countries and bringing back a little African baby as a souvenir... I do find that offensive. But mostly because I know they're not raising the kid. They're just going to pay someone else to raise him/her for them. That's not love.

XHonusWagnerX - 12-20-2008 at 08:54 AM

I dont think it sould matter either.

on a slightly related note, on LA INK a couple of weeks ago a black guy went in to get a portrait of him and his brother. His brother was white, but they were both painted up like KISS (Ace and Gene). The white kid had the classic 70's shaggy haircut and the black kid had a big afro. They also both had miserable looks on their faces. The picture was awesome!

Discipline - 12-20-2008 at 09:51 AM

I'd rather see a kid get adopted by someone of another race than sit in an orphanage or foster care.

As random pointed out, the only time I have a problem with it is when celebrities are adopting kids from other countries so they can brag about it in the news.

JawnDiablo - 12-20-2008 at 12:15 PM

from whay i hear it is pretty hard to adopt kids anymore in America.
a man at work adopted a baby from China not too long ago. He spent alot of money doing it.
It shouldnt matter.
a man who is involved in our basebal leauge has 5 black kids that he adopted / took in. he's an older white dude.
those kids are happy, and thankful for the good life he has given them.

Enyo - 12-20-2008 at 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by juandiablo
from whay i hear it is pretty hard to adopt kids anymore in America.
a man at work adopted a baby from China not too long ago. He spent alot of money doing it.
It shouldnt matter.
a man who is involved in our basebal leauge has 5 black kids that he adopted / took in. he's an older white dude.
those kids are happy, and thankful for the good life he has given them.

Actually it's not that hard to adopt in america. The problem is that there is a hierarchy in adoption. Blonde haired, blue eyed baby girls are at the top of the list, black boys are at the bottom. There is also a lot of hypocrisy. When we went to our first agency we were expected to prove that we attended church regulary and were of strong faith. The other HUGE issue in adopting american babies is that almost 100% of them are drug and alcohol exposed. The idea the teen moms are giving their babies up is a myth. The women giving their babies up for adoption are older, already have 2 -3 kids and live a hard life. A lot of them are in prison.

I'm really glad you all feel that way. :smilegrin:

http://www.spence-chapin.org/asapwaiting.html

This is Joshua. My husband is probably going to say no, just because of all the possible difficultlies this little guy could face, but I would be willing to risk it. He's beautiful.

In any event, thank you for all your opinions.

newbreedbrian - 12-20-2008 at 01:01 PM

i think it's great that some people are willing to put some real effort into raising any child, especially if it saves them the hell of being tossed around in the system.

clevohardcore - 12-20-2008 at 05:52 PM

Doesnt matter so long as the child is safe and taken care of.

Murk - 12-20-2008 at 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DAK
Why should it matter?

Quote:

Originally posted by Enyo
When we went to our first agency we were expected to prove that we attended church regulary and were of strong faith.

religious people never cease to disgust me.

so, if you have no criminal record, you are financially secure and you seem like good people that's all negated because you don't believe in imaginary things?

they're not worried about the child's well-being, they're just worried about making sure there's one more "member" on the planet.

fuckin' pathetic.

ShawnRefuse - 12-20-2008 at 10:29 PM

He's adorable. Good luck on it.

I agree with the consensus here. A good home and someone to take care of them is what's needed.

I don't care if it's another race, the adopted parents are gay, whatever. If it's a good home and the parents will raise the kid to fend for itself and respect itself then, it's a good thing all around.

Enyo - 12-21-2008 at 12:01 AM

Thanks Shawn- That little guy is too risky for us. Because he doesn't qualify for medicaid or adoption subsidy, any and all medical issues would be our responsibility. Our health insurance situation is pretty shaky so major medical issues could break us financially.

We have signed up to foster/ adopt and will be done with that process in March. We hope to have our first placement soon after. We were told that we're one of the very few white families locally that are willing to take African American or bi-racial kids.

I have had some issues with people that I thought were friends being really negative about our decision, but I wanted to go with the group that has the biggest need and since 70% of the kids in our area in foster care are black.. that's what we went with.

We've done all kinds of reading on transracial adoption and have the support of a few close black friends who will help us with any cultural issues that may arise. I just want to be as informed and proactive as possible, you know?

Dave - 12-21-2008 at 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by clevohardcore
Doesnt matter so long as the child is safe and taken care of.

agreed

Lucabrasi - 12-21-2008 at 02:33 AM

I wonder if a black child who is adopted by a white couple is effected differently then if it were a black couple? Think of the cultural history and tradition they would be missing out on by living with a different race. I'm not saying transracial adoption is bad but I think it has its advantages/disadvantages.

Enyo - 12-21-2008 at 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lucabrasi
I wonder if a black child who is adopted by a white couple is effected differently then if it were a black couple? Think of the cultural history and tradition they would be missing out on by living with a different race. I'm not saying transracial adoption is bad but I think it has its advantages/disadvantages.

No, you make an excellent point. The reality of the situation is that we are the THIRD best option for a black infant. First would be that the birth parents would be willing and able to raise him, second would be a good black family. But if neither of those two options exist..... That just leaves us.

You can't say that all you need is love, because that's just not true. They need positive role models, they need to have friends and extended family (optionally) that are the same color.

In NYC or places like that it may not be so important, but we live in the south. In a small town. Where people still have rebel flags hanging from their homes and trucks.

Again, I thank you guys for your opinions on this.

defstarsteve - 12-21-2008 at 01:27 PM

well this is kind of corny but Billary said it takes a village and I think in this case it would be true...

I think a responsible parent of an interacial child be it thru adoption or natural means, would need to make sure the child knows of it's heritage and be involved in aspects of both cultures...

it may be awkward for you if you don't have a lot of friends of color, but I think it would be up to you to keep child in his or her community...and be come part of that community...

the community may look weird at you at first but when they see your love for the child, they will accept you and help you and the child.

yes there are some people of all races who care a little too much about race, but the majority of people look beyond that to see what's inside your heart and motives.
good luck...

DaveMoral - 12-21-2008 at 04:22 PM

I don't think it should matter, but I think in the case of black children a sincere attempt to expose those kids to black American culture should be made. It's doable, and I've heard lots of stories about it.

The church thing is somewhat silly, but then again... if they are openly a specifically Christian adoption agency it shouldn't be unexpected.

gavin - 12-21-2008 at 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DaveMoral
I don't think it should matter, but I think in the case of black children a sincere attempt to expose those kids to black American culture should be made. It's doable, and I've heard lots of stories about it.

what exactly is black american culture and why should this attempt be made?
serious question, not taking any shots or anything