Thorp and Sailor's Grave Board

America's Worst Supermarket Foods

BDx13 - 12-23-2008 at 01:04 PM

There may be no place on the planet more daunting than the American supermarket. From the produce section to the frozen-food aisle, the modern day market is loaded with 50,000 food choices, all vying for your hard-earned money. And there’s no better way to start slimming down in 2009 than by eliminating the most egregious offenders in the supermarket from your shopping cart. That’s why we created the Eat This, Not That! Supermarket Survival Guide: to help you cut through marketing mysteries and food-label lies in order to make the smart choices that lead to fast and permanent weight loss for you and your loved ones.

Some are conspicuous calorie bombs, others are junk food masquerading as healthy food, but all of these foods have one thing in common: They will undermine your efforts to lose weight and feel great in the New Year. So study up on the list of the Worst Supermarket Foods (and while you’re at it, don’t forget the 20 Worst Restaurant Foods in America), and resolve to master your market in 2009!


Pillsbury Big Deluxe Classics White Chunk Macadamia Nut
(dough; 1 cookie, 38 g)
180 calories / 10 g fat
(3 g saturated, 2 g trans)
13 g sugars

Stick to Nestlé Toll House when it comes to big-brand cookie dough; the people of Pillsbury have a penchant for scattering trans fats across your market’s refrigerated section. This cookie has one load of dangerous oils mixed into the flour and another blended with sugar and interspersed throughout the dough as “white confectionery chunks.”

FAT EQUIVALENT: 5 “fun” size 3 Musketeers bars

Eat This Instead:
Toll House Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
(11⁄2-inch ball, 28 g)
130 calories
6 g fat (2.5 g saturated)
11 g sugars


(1 package, 2 oz)
280 calories / 27 g sugars
14 g fat (11 g saturated)

Twix takes the already-dubious candy-bar reputation and drags it through a murky pool of saturated fat. With more than half the USDA’s daily consumption recommendation for these dangerous fats in each package, this is one potentially hazardous after-lunch snack.

SATURATED FAT EQUIVALENT: 11 strips of bacon

Eat This Instead:
100 Grand
(1 package)
190 calories
22 g sugars
8 g fat (5 g saturated)


Quaker 100% Natural Granola, Oats, Honey & Raisins
(1 c)
420 calories
12 g fat (7 g saturated)
6 g fiber / 30 g sugars

Granola, for all its good reputation, is usually weighed down by a deluge of added sugars. In fact, for the same amount of sugar, you could have a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles more than twice the size—and you’d get more fiber and save about 60 calories in fat.

CALORIE EQUIVALENT: 8 chicken wings

Eat This Instead:
(1 c)
140 calories
1 g fat (0 g saturated)
10 g fiber / 6 g sugars


Hostess Chocolate Pudding Pie
(1 pie)
520 calories / 45 g sugars
24 g fat (14 g saturated, 1.5 g trans)

Skip past the enriched flour and water on the ingredient list and here’s what you get: animal shortening, corn syrup, high-fructose corn syrup, sugar, modified corn starch, butter, chocolate liqueur, and so on. Any one of these ingredients alone might prompt you to raise an eyebrow, but taken together they should invoke a gag reflex and a sprint for something far healthier.

SATURATED FAT EQUIVALENT: 2 McDonald’s Quarter Pounders

Eat This Instead:
Chocolatey Drizzle Rice Krispies Treat
100 calories / 8 g sugars
3 g fat (1 g saturated)


Oscar Mayer Maxed Out Turkey & Cheddar Cracker Combo Lunchables
(1 package)
680 calories / 61 g sugars
22 g fat (9 g saturated, 1 g trans) / 1,440 mg sodium

Here’s your first clue that this meal has issues: The ingredient list—in its squinty small type—is a full 4 inches long. It includes just about every form of fat and sugar you can imagine. Your child deserves better.

CALORIE EQUIVALENT: 15 Chicken McNuggets

Eat This Instead:
Oscar Mayer Deli Creations Fajita Beef & Salsa Flatbread
(145 g)
280 calories
9 g fat (4 g saturated)
890 mg sodium


DiGiorno for One Garlic Bread Crust Supreme Pizza
850 calories / 1,450 mg sodium
44 g fat (15 g saturated, 3.5 g trans)

The bloated crust and the greasy toppings will saddle you with 60 percent of your day’s sodium, 75 percent of your day’s saturated fat, and nearly twice the amount of trans fats you should take in daily.

CALORIE EQUIVALENT: 6 slices Domino’s Thin N Crispy Cheese Pizza

Eat This Instead:
South Beach Diet Deluxe Pizza
340 calories
660 mg sodium
11 g fat (4 g saturated)


Hungry-Man Classic Fried Chicken
1,020 calories / 1,570 mg sodium
57 g fat (12 g saturated)

They should rename the company Hungry-Men, because there’s no way the average guy needs more than a pound of fatty fried chicken, oily potatoes, and a brownie.

CALORIE EQUIVALENT: 5 Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Doughnuts

Eat This Instead:
Banquet Select Chicken Parmesan
350 calories
870 mg sodium
15 g fat (3.5 g saturated)

CR83 - 12-26-2008 at 12:23 AM

Fuckin' Twix are officially dead to me. Shit....