I'm a mom!

I know I don't post a lot, but I have been crowing from the rooftops and I figured I'd do a little shouting here too.

My hubby and I are foster parents.... and we got our first call!!

We originally said we wanted a child under 3, but surprise! she's 11. We didn't even have a bed for her. She is sooo cute, but she looks 16. We took her out and college guys were gawking at her.

So far so good.. she's been with us 5 days.. she's really starting to open up to me about all the things that went on in her home.. it's stuff you don't ever want to hear.
There are so many things she's never done... We took her to the circus today... You should have seen her face.

She's so much like an adult, she's been fending for herself for a long time, but she's still such a little kid.

I am loving every minute of this. My hubby says I glow.

I'm trying so hard to do it right.. I hope I am. I just wish someone had told me that once you become a mom you never get to sit down again. Or sleep (I'm up worrying about her). Or eat without jumping up at least 3 times.

The circumstances of her case are private but it's not good. and it doesn't look like she'll be going home again, ever. So we could end up adopting her. a TWEEN!, Am I totally nuts?!

congrats! you've posted about the foster thing before. glad a child in need has two happy parents.

That is so good to hear. I can feel you're excitement right through the screen. And you are a little bit nuts but that's a prerequisite. Congratulations and might I add how admirable an act this is. And it will be me asking your advice in the next few years, as my girl is 8.

(when I read the title I thought you might have bought a guitar )

Clevo- I get what you're saying. I DO. but I'm not some angel. I'm not a hero. I was just someone who wanted to help kids and to get to be a mom- if only for a little while. Deep down I'm a selfish whiny lazy girl.

BD- she is doing AMAZING. Her home life was very loud and unstable. She basically took care of herself and because of that has made some not good decisions. like dying her hair and wearing GOBS of makeup. We fixed the hair today, and we have had a nice long talk about what kind of makeup is ok. (not much, ha ha!)
She is really opening up to me. We got her a boombox and I asked to make a list of songs she likes, most were very age appropriate (Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift) Some were not so much so. I had her help me make some banana bread on Sunday morning and I said "You know that Lee and I really want you to be happy here, but it's our job to protect you and do what we think is best, even if sometimes that doesn't make you happy. So when you want to listen to songs that glorify sex and drugs and drinking, you know that we can't stop you from hearing them, but we're not going to buy it for you."

Tonight she told me that she really likes it here and asked if she had a choice in going home. I had to tell her no. because she really doesn't. We talked again about how our rules show that we care and why we put those rules in place.

She "gets" it. She WANTS boundries and rules. Mostly she wants someone to care about her. I am trying to do all the little things. Like packing her lunch and putting a note inside.

In all honesty we got SO lucky. She is really beautiful, she is great with the dogs, She WANTS to go to school. (WHAT?!) She is calm and quiet and respectful. There are more issues here than just her home life. One (because it's not related to the case, kinda, I think is ok to share... her mom is terminally ill.. has been sick for a long time and is now on hospice) So she is greiving. and I'm sure we will start to see that in the next few weeks.

Please keep us in your good thoughts because it has been SO hard. I need to be firm, but she's so scared and unsure of everything right now.. I'm trying to guide more with postive reinforcment than negative.

BTW- what's a fair weekly allowance?

Sorry- everyone else- I didn't answer specifically... I can answer some questions but not many.

Thank you all so so much for the support!!

Defstar- I'll definitely ask when I need too. She seems to really look for rules, because she's never had any. I'm 100% sure there will come a day when she's slamming the doors and yelling that she HATESus, but for right now.. I say jump and she pulls out the trampoline. I can only hope it stays that way forever..lol

Quote:

Originally posted by Enyo I know I don't post a lot, but I have been crowing from the rooftops and I figured I'd do a little shouting here too. My hubby and I are foster parents.... and we got our first call!! We originally said we wanted a child under 3, but surprise! she's 11. We didn't even have a bed for her. She is sooo cute, but she looks 16. We took her out and college guys were gawking at her. So far so good.. she's been with us 5 days.. she's really starting to open up to me about all the things that went on in her home.. it's stuff you don't ever want to hear. There are so many things she's never done... We took her to the circus today... You should have seen her face. She's so much like an adult, she's been fending for herself for a long time, but she's still such a little kid. I am loving every minute of this. My hubby says I glow. I'm trying so hard to do it right.. I hope I am. I just wish someone had told me that once you become a mom you never get to sit down again. Or sleep (I'm up worrying about her). Or eat without jumping up at least 3 times. The circumstances of her case are private but it's not good. and it doesn't look like she'll be going home again, ever. So we could end up adopting her. a TWEEN!, Am I totally nuts?!

Thanks MM!! Thanks Everyone. You guys are so great!!

Because her privacy has to be protected I can't give out any info or share pictures but IF we adopt... I'll share some pics then

I put her on the bus today for the first time. (She's in the 5th grade) I came inside and cried and cried. She's so fragile and the world is such a mean place. I hugged her like 80 times before the bus got here. LOL

yes, you are. but in the best possible way.
not that much people have the courage to give children a second chance with a new family. i don´t think i could do something like that.
i wish all three of you all the best that you become a happy family.
enyo, am i allowed to ask how old and you husband are?

and now teach her listening to the ramones!

I'm 29- Hubby is 35. Old man.

Quote:

Originally posted by Enyo I'm 29- Hubby is 35. Old man.

pfft. i´m 34 and def. not old.

serious. you both have a good age for living with a teen. you still know a bit of her world and so´ll the understanding will be easier.
that will work.

Who said I was a punk rocker?

wow.....this is really awesome.I love hearing things like this. She seems to be helping you almost as much as your helping her by making you "glow" and proud,as you should be. Your doing a very brave and wonderful thing for that child. Every little girl needs a mother. I really hope ya'll are able to adopt her at some point.
Congrats to you and your husband