Post horror stories of being in public and having to use the restroom.

clevohardcore - 5-13-2005 at 06:50 PM

THIS THREAD HAS GOT TO GET ME AT LEAST A FREE THROP SHIRT.

My worst experience was at a club called the ODEON in Cleveland flats downtown. I went with a few friends. We went to see MINISTRY around 2002 I believe. Anyway. It was fucking packed and we went out to eat befor ethe show at Max and Erma's. I ate a burger. We got to the club and before the opening band played and I felt a little uneasy. So I had 2 beers. After a bit I was like in bad shape. I was hangin off the railing with a terrible sour stomach and I had to SHIT BAD. I went to the bar tender and was like were is the bathroom. I almost lost it before i made it. Once i got theri it was 1 toilet and 1 stand up. No one in their but it the bathroom was right next to a table with people sitting and standing all around it. Goth people kickin it and shit. Anyway the worst part of it was NO FUCKING DOOR. So I'm out in the open shitting like mad. I was pissed and laughing at the same time at how stupid this looks. The people around the bathroom could smell it for sure. I sound of techno music and fart-shitting was funny ass hell. Also I didn't have time to lay any battle gear on the toilet before i sat down. I was soo relieved after all that and I felt 100% better but let that be a lesson. No your environment and prepare.

Now let's hear your stories.......Don't be shy. Who gives a.......shit?

hahahahaaha

gavin - 5-13-2005 at 06:52 PM

i have a TON of these
my stomach is really bad
i mean i have ALOT of stories
i will post them later on when i have more time

clevohardcore - 5-13-2005 at 06:54 PM

I got at least 2 more and i will post them too but I want to see who else has them...

hahahahaa. This is funny

forsaken - 5-13-2005 at 09:03 PM

This is another story from my pre-straightedge days (turning edge made me boring i reckon) :

Ok, so I was about 17 and I went to this club to see some bands play, drank wayyyy too much and caught the train out of the city at about 7am to go home. On the way home my tummy starts gurgling and my ass was starting to feel a little ... 'stressed out' ... I knew it was an explosive poop so I thought 'hey i'll get off the train and use the toilet at the next station - too easy' ... so the next station rolls up and i run out the train doors only to see it's 'east camberwell station' ... a station that has no fuckin toilets, it's just a platform .... this station happens to be right next to an expensive private girl school and the platform just happened to have 20-30 girls on their way to school. But I had no choice ...

I ran into this little seating area (it's like a shelter from wind and rain) where there was no girls, pulled my pants down and took a dump right there and then. It was so wrong, but it felt so good. Ahhhhhhh ......

JawnDiablo - 5-13-2005 at 10:33 PM

ill be back on this one when i can compose

thedog - 5-13-2005 at 10:40 PM

i have a weak stomach too.
so whenever i go to a show or any place with a sketchy bathroom - i always take imodium a.d. for precautionary measures.
and i carry extra with me just in case.

it usually works well.

clevohardcore - 5-13-2005 at 11:16 PM

FORSAKEN

Dude I am jamming out to MERAUDERS MASTER KILLER and while I'm reading the story I have the song FEAR OF SIN on and it has a heavy repetative guitar riff on it that continues for a while and it set a great musical backdrop of you searching for the bathroom. That was some funny shit. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHA. Imagine what the person thought when they found that in the corner.

forsaken - 5-13-2005 at 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by clevohardcore
Imagine what the person thought when they found that in the corner.

Oh dude, I reckon it'd be the worst thing to see, EVER and it woulda stunk sooo bad. I was amazed it didn't splash on the back of my shoes or pants or anything. Hahaha.

But alas, thats my one and only pooping horror story, I had a close call after a bad kebab when I was in New York city ... luckily some nice lady let me cut the queue for the starbucks dunny.

clevohardcore - 5-13-2005 at 11:38 PM

My other story was after my honeymoon in the Dominican Republic I got the worst SHITS ever from their. Well the next day I got back was IRON MAIDEN, MOTORHEAD and DIO. Now I could not miss this show plus he had a bunch of us going to this show with a limo so it was on no matter what. Well a 2 cars of us meet up at a MARCS parking lot to meet up with the 2 other cars. I go into Marcs cause I am feeling it so bad in the brewhause. Everyone knows and they are drinking rum and beers and smokin it up. Well I go into Marcs to get toilet paper and imodium and tums. Everyone is cracking up and shit so we finally get into the limo and everyhting is fine I get my buzz on and we get to the show. Rock out hard to MOTORHEAD. DIO FUCKING SUCKED but whatever and thats when it hits. I go shit in this crappy outside restroom. Watch MAIDEN and then the show is over we get into the limo and I tell the driver on the phone in the back that if I call and say I got to shit "PLEASE STOP AND PULL OVER" He's like are you serious?" and I say "HELL YA" After 20 minutes crampped in the back of this limo it hits FAST dude... sour stomach and pain. I scream at the guy on the phone and he won't pull over I start begging and everyone is laughing at me sooo damn hard. So I'm like if he doesn't pull over I am shitting in this limo then I blow this quiet fart. Every in the limo thinks I already shit my pants. So they start pounding on the walls and windows of the limo and screaming into the phone "HE'S SHITTING HIS PANTS". the guy pulls over and it's in the middle of a highway between Akron and Cleveland. I run up the hill on the side of the highway and squat down and take a shit. Wide out in the middle were every car and truck can see. I could hear everyone laughing sooo fucking hard in that car, and all the truckers and cars that pass are honking horns at me. I did not care because I was prepared and had the toilet paper with me. THANK GOD.

clevohardcore - 5-13-2005 at 11:42 PM

Moral to this story NEVER under any circumstance go to a foreign country. The water regulations and food prep regulation s are not the same as the UNITED STATES. I almost went into the hospital because i kept shitting for nearly a month. I got it from either the water which I did not drink on purpose but I hear they rpeper food in the water like veggies and mixed drinks with ice.

SAAAAARS - 5-13-2005 at 11:43 PM

the worst thing i've ever had happen is having no toilet paper. i haven't read all of these yet because it's a lot to read, but seriously. weird. haha

forsaken - 5-13-2005 at 11:43 PM

Dude thats an amazing story, you definetly outdid my train station poop. hahaha.

clevohardcore - 5-13-2005 at 11:45 PM

I don't know man your story was fucking funny. I can jsut imagine trying to hide jsut to take a shit and not be able to. Esp that early in the morning.

Discipline - 5-14-2005 at 03:08 AM

I remember one time back in high school I got food poisoning real bad and got sick while in school. It was coming out both ends so I was puking on the bathroom floor while I painted the toilet brown. Needless to say I decided to sign out and go home for the day. Of course, I had no money for the bus so I had to make the half hour walk home. There was a mall across from my school and I made it to the parking lot and puked all over the hood of somebody's car, then stumbled into the mall to paint another toilet brown. After that I exited on the opposite side and continued home. Puked a few more times, not that there was much of anything left. About 5 minutes from my house me ass was about to explode so I looked around for a decent place to shit without being seen. There was a kids park there (empty thank fuck) with one of thse slides that was a big tube. Painted the inside brown. Grabbed a few pieces of paper from my bag to wipe with and made it home where instead of going to bed I just lay on the bathroom floor for a few hours. Ah, those high school memories.

Discipline - 5-14-2005 at 03:13 AM

One other gross one I'll mention, although not perpetrated by me, was when worked as an overnight cleaner at McDonalds many years ago. The store had a playland with one of those long tubes the kids could crawl. Apparently one kid decided to drop his pants and take a shit in there. Yay. Then another kid came along and upon discovering the shit puked all over the place. Double yay. Did the staff clean it up? Did the manager on duty do anything to clean it up? No. They locked the playland and let it sit for 3 hours until me and the other night guy came in. It was his area to clean but he went in there and puked. Guess who got to clean all that? That's right, me. I have a long list of nasty bathroom stories from McD's. People in public bathrooms suck!

JawnDiablo - 5-14-2005 at 07:51 AM

i have a friend who managed an assisted care facility (old folks home) and some of the old people really start to lose it after a while. in one such case , an old man shat in a radiator and left it there. thats right 80 year old pooh in a steamy radiator, very messy indeed...yuck
when my son was a baby, he had a pretty bad virus at one point. i had him on the couch changing his diaper, lifted his legs to clean him up, and he "projectile shat" at me. this shit squirt went all over me , my shirt, the couch the rug, all over. got on my face. i nearly puked. we look back at it and laugh now.....
anyone who has to shit in public, dont ever do it in the Khyber bar in philly, thats a real no no.
the bathroom at work has all the charm of a public restroom, for the animals i work with seem to have a terrible "back splash" problem. i mean it ends up running down the sides sometimes. it is real bad, and for me, it is dreadful, as i usually drink allot of coffee, if i don't then i really cant function. well coffee gives me an on the spot enema in most cases...its bad
there was this one time in norristown pa, where i had to crap behind an abandoned warehouse. i was at applebees with people from work and ate those boneless buffalo wings. the usual route home was closed due to a fatal accident on 422, so we had to take main street in norristown. there was loads of traffic and we were crawling. then in a split second everything in my body rushed to my sphincter, and in that part of town there is nowhere to take a dump. i had to jump out in traffic run while squinching to behind this abandoned warehouse ( i think it was abandoned , if not then someone had a mess on their property) and drop 10lbs of buffalo wing and yuengling shit. wiped with my boxers and went back to the car. i never felt such relief....

newbreedbrian - 5-14-2005 at 12:04 PM

a few years ago, a friend of mine left for work. what he also left was a big ass bag of jelly beans on the coffee table. enter rover. snfff.......snffffff........munch......munch, the whole bag gone. now hopped up on sugar, he proceeds to run around in circles spraying the apartment in liquid shit. jelly beans + rover =

(from a third party perspective jelly beans + rover =

)

clevohardcore - 5-14-2005 at 01:16 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

clevohardcore - 5-14-2005 at 01:17 PM

One other gross one I'll mention, although not perpetrated by me, was when worked as an overnight cleaner at McDonalds many years ago. The store had a playland with one of those long tubes the kids could crawl. Apparently one kid decided to drop his pants and take a shit in there. Yay. Then another kid came along and upon discovering the shit puked all over the place. Double yay. Did the staff clean it up? Did the manager on duty do anything to clean it up? No. They locked the playland and let it sit for 3 hours until me and the other night guy came in. It was his area to clean but he went in there and puked. Guess who got to clean all that? That's right, me. I have a long list of nasty bathroom stories from McD's. People in public bathrooms suck!

I got a couple too. Mcdonalds was my first job. and they jsut installed the playland. I will tell when I got time.

This thread sooo damn funny.

tireironsaint - 5-14-2005 at 04:06 PM

Mine are all from a spectator's perspective, but still pretty funny. I'll start light and work my way down...

When my daughter was really tiny I was changing her diaper and some little turdlette was crammed between her cheeks. Just as I lifted her butt to wipe her, she farted and shot the turdlette about three feet across the room.

The next one was actually several years before the first one. When I was in high school, I worked at this horrible place called Pandamonium Playland. It was like a nicer Chuck E. Cheese type place and I usually worked in the kitchen, but on the day in question they made me work in the Playland part and we had some kid go on a naked rampage. There was this big mountain of stuff for kids to play on, like a multi level maze with tubes and climbing areas and all this stuff with one of us workers stationed every so often along the way with walkie talkies so we could jump on any trouble that came through. Anyway, this kid apparently had the world's biggest sugar fix just before he came in and so right at the top of the mountain thing he stripped off every stitch of clothes he had on and bolted. We heard about that immediately as he stripped right by one of the workers, but got away from them. He proceeded to run amok all over the mountain slipping past most of the other workers who were doing some kinda Three Stooges type maneuver running into each other and falling down in their efforts to catch him. I made my way to the bottom of the main tube slide, figuring he'd end up there eventually. He did, fuck, did he ever. He came barreling down that slide, still buck-ass naked, jumped out the end of it, squatted right there at the bottom of the slide and shit on the floor, laughing the whole time. I was lucky enough to grab his arm and hold him there while management located his folks and therefore wasn't the one required to pick up the turds....

The last story happened between the first and second ones when I worked at a 7-11 on the Drag in Austin. The Drag is a stretch of Guadalupe Blvd near the University and is just a couple of blocks from the State Mental Hospital, so of course we got more than our fill of bums, crusties, loonies, and rejects mixed in with the typical students, frat boys, over-priveleged and undernourished rich girls and everybody else. Anyhow, one evening during the busiest part of the shift one of our regular nutcases came in with a paniced look on his face. He stepped up to the counter for a second while looking around frantically. His eyes settled on the entrance to the area with our restroom as well as our mop room just as he started to open his mouth to say something which I assume would have been the question about where he might find our toilet. He bolted for the restroom before getting any real words out of his mouth and I didn't think anything of it until a moment later when a customer at the counter mentioned a horrible smell just as that smell snaked it's way across the counter and put a death grip on my nose. Another customer was walking up to the counter just then and slipped and almost fell. We all looked to see what she had slipped on and noticed the beginning of a trail of runny black pudding-like shit that made it's way back toward (where else?) the restroom area. Fortunately, I had a trainee with me that day and I had him start mopping up the snail-trail of human waste while I went back to make sure the guilty party got the fuck out of the store. By the time my trainee had retreived the mop from just outside the restroom and I could head back there, the scumball came tearing out of there with no pants or underwear on and he just tore out the door at top speed and as far as I know, never came back. I went back to the restroom to see what kind of damage he had done, but it was pretty clean in there. As I turned away to head back to the front, I noticed that he had decided to throw his shit-caked garments into our mop sink, leaving splatters all over the walls and floor. Man, did I ever feel sorry for my trainee.
On a side note, the trainee was a recent immigrant from India who, believe it or not, was named Haji. Yes, I worked at a 7-11 with a guy named Haji. Stereotypes hafta come from somewhere, I guess.....

clevohardcore - 5-14-2005 at 05:18 PM

Damn. thats some funny dare I say it.........."shit"

RomanticViolence - 5-24-2005 at 11:02 PM

Nothing about a public restroom..but...last weekend we had a cook out/party and my man got drunk and was throwing up and shitting his pants at the same time. Good thing we were at home. Good times!

clevohardcore - 5-25-2005 at 10:37 AM

In college a buddy of mine had a party in his dorm and it was nuts. This one dude got soo fucking high and drunk off POWERMASTER or St Ides(I can't remember) he past out on the couch sitting up. After about a 1/2 hour or so you can smell some nasty stink in the room. I noticed it about 5 minutes before anyone said anything so you know everyone else did too. Next thing we know is everyone starts yelling that dude shit his pants. It was the smelliest thing ever. A couple guys picked him up and put min in the shower fully clothed and turned it on. I think my my buddy still has a pic of the couch after he pissed and shatted on it. That was pretty damn foul.

Unbound - 5-25-2005 at 12:08 PM

I've only had one accident, well aside from baby ones. I guess I was about 10 and in our neighbourhood we had a guy who sold hockey cards and whatnot out of his basement. Being that I was a dorky child I was very into those damn things, and one night I walked to his house, and while on the way my stomach started to feel pretty bad. I get there and to be horror he isn't home. So A) no hockey cards, and B)I can't unleash this massive shit that is brewing.

S0....I do the next best thing. Sneak into this dudes backyard and take a huge shit on the ground. It was winter so I figured what the hell I'll just bury it. Well, I guess in between being nervous and watching for people I managed to shit all over my pants. Needless to say I wasn't about to walk the 10 blocks home without any pants. So I pulled up my pants, and trudged home, with more in my pants then I left with.

My mom definitely got a good laugh out of it when I got home. Safe to say that my pants and underwear hit the garbage pretty quick though.

Ahh..being a child, how I miss the fact that you can shit your pants and it's ok.... I guess I'll like being an elderly citizen.

JawnDiablo - 5-26-2005 at 05:53 AM

i have this dope at work who "misfires" regulary. you know farts but accidentally has the hershey squrts....he is a mess. and he tells us about these experiences....i swear i work in the zoo

crazyfists28 - 5-26-2005 at 02:30 PM

i have a weak stomach to begin with so i should expect the worst most days but i constantly put it to the test. i went to the nys fair and lets just say i thoroughly enjoyed myself combining beer, wine, dinosaur bbq (chicken and ribs) more wine and beer , hot dog etc. as i was walking back with my friend to the place where u pick up your wine my stomack began to rumble and i knew this was bad news, so we got the wine and began driving the hour and a half back to rochester, all the while my stomach is cramping and uncramping like im having a friggin' baby!! i finally cant take it and we pull into a rest stop on the thruway and i hobble into the restroom squeezing ass like im trying to create a diamond, the beast i unleashed still had the sweet smell of red wine and bbq and i never felt so much better in my life..my friend was on her way towards the bathroom as i walked out cuz she was concerned i was dying in there or something, i just hung out in there for awhile to take care of it for good...

clevohardcore - 5-27-2005 at 06:23 PM

hahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahahaahaha

Damn thats a funny story. Glad to see you were rescued by the reststop. Does anyone ever stop and think about how great the UNITED STATES really are. I mean we take our restrooms very seriously. You can almost always find one when in a crunch. I love my country and it's restroom policies

crazyfists28 - 5-27-2005 at 06:28 PM

i chose the big solo stall where i could let it all hang out, and not care at all, it was one of the best experiences of my life...no joke

Discipline - 5-27-2005 at 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by clevohardcore
hahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahahaahaha

Damn thats a funny story. Glad to see you were rescued by the reststop. Does anyone ever stop and think about how great the UNITED STATES really are. I mean we take our restrooms very seriously. You can almost always find one when in a crunch. I love my country and it's restroom policies

My buddy moved to France a few years ago and told me it's completely different over there. You can't just walk into a restaurant or store and use the bathroom. They are for customers only. He told me it's quite normal to see people pissing in full public view cause they don't want to pay to use a washroom.

KyleOz - 5-27-2005 at 11:30 PM

One morning I believe I was in 9th grade and I was cleaning pools as a summer job. I had a serious case of the stomach grumbles. So I cleaned the bathrooms pretty well, what is the big deal using it right?

Little did I know that was the day the county health inspector decided to visit my park. I am half way through my business, and to let you know these bathroom stalls didn't have doors. Next thing I know the health inspector and my boss walk in to see me doing the big #2.

One of the most embrassing moments of my life. Definite period of awkward silence occured.

clevohardcore - 5-28-2005 at 11:35 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.

OZ that is great. What happened after that. Did they bitch you out? or ignore you and let you continue? Did they laugh? or get really mad? I mean damn when you got to go you got to go right? By law you can take a shit even when your on the clock.

KyleOz - 5-28-2005 at 12:34 PM

It was more like a "back away slowly and not mention anything" manuver. Unfortunately my boss or guy in charge of me told the other full timers and they busted my balls for the rest of the summer.

JawnDiablo - 1-18-2007 at 03:44 PM

i love this shit

Discipline - 1-18-2007 at 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by juandiablo
i love this shit

Pun intended I assume.

Siczine.com - 1-18-2007 at 04:11 PM

hahaha this shit is mint.

About a year ago I was roofing with this company and we were doing a house in Collegeville. I felt fine in the morning, no sickness or anything like that but I didn't get much sleep so I drank way too much coffee to compensate for two hours of bad sleep, seriously like 72 ounces. Well, an hour into the job I'm up on the roof and nailing shingles when all of a sudden I feel much stomach groaning and I knew I was going to have to take a dookie but I said fuck it tried to fight it off, big mistake because 10mins later I'm running down the ladder clinching my cheeks, I looked for a spot to shit because we didn't have the luxary of porta-pottys. Well, there was no areas I could take cover in so I hoped in the big dumpster we were using to throw debris. I laid down on of the biggest shits of my life, and you know I didn't have toilet paper in my back pocket so to wipe I grabbed some dingy shingle wrapper, and that shit wasn't easy on my ass let me tell ya. So I get out and feel so much better, 30mins later my boss comes over flipping his lid because when he jumped into the dumpster he landed right in my mud puddle. Because the one dude I was working with has a history of shitting in various spots and was laughing he assumed it was him, to this day I don't think he knows whose shit he really stepped in. After that incident I always brough a roll of toilet paper with me.

upyerbum - 1-18-2007 at 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by newbreedbrian
a few years ago, a friend of mine left for work. what he also left was a big ass bag of jelly beans on the coffee table. enter rover. snfff.......snffffff........munch......munch, the whole bag gone. now hopped up on sugar, he proceeds to run around in circles spraying the apartment in liquid shit. jelly beans + rover =

(from a third party perspective jelly beans + rover =

)

I will keep this in mind.........

necrobutcher - 1-19-2007 at 12:30 AM

Not as gnarly as some of the other stories but uneasy as hell. I was in east NJ for Chiller a few years back and stopped at a TGI Fridays afterwards. Had to take a dump so went to the can. Stall 1 was clogged and overflowing with shitwater. Number 2 (unintentional pun) had the most inhuman looking turd in it I have ever seen. I bite the bullet and shit on top of the freak turd. Not that gross but shitting on someone else's shit made me feel unclean until I showered. I have seen some disturbing things in my time and have just shrugged my shoulders but that still makes me feel creeped out over 3 years later.

Kid Ugly - 1-19-2007 at 01:27 AM

Tijuana.
Drunk.
A stall in the back of a liquor store/barber shop combo.

'Nuff said.

JawnDiablo - 1-19-2007 at 06:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by necrobutcher
Not as gnarly as some of the other stories but uneasy as hell. I was in east NJ for Chiller a few years back and stopped at a TGI Fridays afterwards. Had to take a dump so went to the can. Stall 1 was clogged and overflowing with shitwater. Number 2 (unintentional pun) had the most inhuman looking turd in it I have ever seen. I bite the bullet and shit on top of the freak turd. Not that gross but shitting on someone else's shit made me feel unclean until I showered. I have seen some disturbing things in my time and have just shrugged my shoulders but that still makes me feel creeped out over 3 years later.

last thing you want is the "splash back" when someone elses pooh is rotting 9 inches below your gaping asshole

anyone ever see the comedian Shimmel on HBO?
he has a whole skit about this situation

XHonusWagnerX - 1-19-2007 at 09:35 AM

mine isnt gross, but it was one of the scariest moments of my life! Im on the highway on my way home from work stuck in traffic and I gotta piss REALLY bad. I knwo theres a rest stop up ahead so I pull in and run up to the door. There are no lights on inside and Im freeked. Stupidly I still go in. I swing the door as wide as it will go and run to the urinal. I start to piss as the door closes. Im still pissing when the door shuts completly and its PITCH BLACK in there. I start to edge closer to the door and Im still pissing when suddenly someone comes out of a stall..... I totally thought I was going to get killed in that bathroom. I turned and ran out the door... jumped in the car and took off!

Voodoobillyman - 1-19-2007 at 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by XHonusWagnerX
mine isnt gross, but it was one of the scariest moments of my life! Im on the highway on my way home from work stuck in traffic and I gotta piss REALLY bad. I knwo theres a rest stop up ahead so I pull in and run up to the door. There are no lights on inside and Im freeked. Stupidly I still go in. I swing the door as wide as it will go and run to the urinal. I start to piss as the door closes. Im still pissing when the door shuts completly and its PITCH BLACK in there. I start to edge closer to the door and Im still pissing when suddenly someone comes out of a stall..... I totally thought I was going to get killed in that bathroom. I turned and ran out the door... jumped in the car and took off!

yeah, thats pretty hairy, I would have been creeped out by old boy hanging in a pitch black public stall, thats the stuff snuff films are made of.

JawnDiablo - 1-19-2007 at 09:42 AM

creepy

Voodoobillyman - 1-19-2007 at 09:51 AM

I was in A-school (for the Navy) in Meridian Mississippi and had a day off when I decided to take a walk to the NEX (Navy exchange, basically a department store). It was a good mile or so from my barracks but it was a beautiful day so no worries. I take care of what it is I wanted to and I start to head back to the barracks. I get hit with a HUGE cramp........you know,the kind that stops you in your tracks and makes you begin to sweat instantly. I just stood for a few minutes clenching and praying. naturally it subsides and you know you don't have much time before it hits again with even more force. I begin to walk very fast, my mind racing on whether I should try to make it back ( I was fairly close by then) or just b-line to a good enough covered spot and shit it out. Well I gambled on making it back and just as I hit the door to my room, it comes back with a fury. I go into my bedroon (shared with three other students) and the shitter is occupied! I know it's do or die now, so I run back into the common room and ask this dude if I can use the shitter in his room while making my way there hastily anyway, he shrugs it off and I get to the shitter door and what do ya know.................the fight was lost, just as I enter to unload I unload without removing my drawers! It was a cramp type shit so that tells you it had some gurth. I spent the next 45 minutes trying to cover up the enormous mess I had just created. I know when I walked out old boy was wondering what the fuck I had been doing in there and then realized it stunk real fuckin bad. Terrible yet funny.

Voodoobillyman - 1-19-2007 at 09:56 AM

I also have a quick one about a ladies room in Turkey where the door wouldn't shut, there was no toilet seat and alot of people women were trying to intrude on my private time, not to mention I was shithoused in a magnificent fashion. Good times. Picture sitting in, not on, in a European toilet ( you guys that have been know what I'm talking about) while simultaneously clipping the shitter door with my feet and having a massive drunken shit with screaming drunk bitches trying to batter in the door. Fun fun fun

clevohardcore - 1-19-2007 at 11:39 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. I love the old threads.

beaner - 1-20-2007 at 05:58 AM

my story wasnt from a show but its baaaad.

18 month ago, i had to have an operation on my abdomen to remove an abcess (for the second time) and while i was in recovery at home i was getting quite bad pains still so my consultant arranged for me to have a barium enema which is basically a pipe up my ass pumping some white liquid in my lower intestines so's if there was a problem it would show up on an xray. so im led there with this thing up my ass and to doc's telling my to lie this way and that way and takin loads of xray pics and this thing is killing me. anyways iget that thing out and i go to the toilet and 'empty' my bowels and im feelin fine so i set off home. the hospital was only like 5 minutes walk from my house. then it happened, a killer pain in my gut and i was like 'oh shit, here we go' and im in some serious pain here so's all i can do relieve this pain was to stand there and shit. so shit i did, white, powdery shit because that was the colour of the liquid. i was fartin cause of the air thay had to pump up in there and i was like 'oh my god'. bearing in mind it was about 2:30 in the afternoon and the street was quite busy and i was stood there, with a gurning face, shitting, stood up in public.

beat that sombody. (think i'll take a t-shirt for that one)

JawnDiablo - 1-20-2007 at 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by beaner
my story wasnt from a show but its baaaad.

18 month ago, i had to have an operation on my abdomen to remove an abcess (for the second time) and while i was in recovery at home i was getting quite bad pains still so my consultant arranged for me to have a barium enema which is basically a pipe up my ass pumping some white liquid in my lower intestines so's if there was a problem it would show up on an xray. so im led there with this thing up my ass and to doc's telling my to lie this way and that way and takin loads of xray pics and this thing is killing me. anyways iget that thing out and i go to the toilet and 'empty' my bowels and im feelin fine so i set off home. the hospital was only like 5 minutes walk from my house. then it happened, a killer pain in my gut and i was like 'oh shit, here we go' and im in some serious pain here so's all i can do relieve this pain was to stand there and shit. so shit i did, white, powdery shit because that was the colour of the liquid. i was fartin cause of the air thay had to pump up in there and i was like 'oh my god'. bearing in mind it was about 2:30 in the afternoon and the street was quite busy and i was stood there, with a gurning face, shitting, stood up in public.

beat that sombody. (think i'll take a t-shirt for that one)

i have heard similar horrors from a guy i work with . he had to have one of thrm. but he seemed to like it

XnMeX - 1-20-2007 at 11:34 AM

I do an asshole thing just cuz I know it HAS to freak people out / piss them off... I pull on my goateee and pull out some nice long goatee hairs and sprinkle them on the seat before I leave. Because i'm an asshole.

joemaconmovies - 1-20-2007 at 07:31 PM

i have actual horror stories but they aren't really funny ones, in my opinion. i can tell them if you guys actually want to hear it.

XnMeX - 1-21-2007 at 11:16 AM

I have a horror story about public bathrooms... It's called getting a job cleaning bathrooms at sears and having the very FIRST day of the job be Black Friday. God damn did that job suck...

Also, I can awnser the age old question of which sex is more disgusting in bathrooms... WOMAN, they are fucking pigs in public restrooms. My fiance worked the job with me and agrees 100%. Lets just say this... Period blood makes a great adhesive when a pad is slapped against a bathroom stall wall.

XHonusWagnerX - 1-21-2007 at 11:43 AM

Quote:

WINNER!

JawnDiablo - 1-21-2007 at 01:36 PM

not quite a horror, but i have had the runs all weekend on account of drinking anchor xmas ale and eating undercooked steak. our toilet went on the fritz this morning and i had to drive across town to blow up my girlfriends toilet. it is 23 degrees out and i was doing the poo poo dance while driving.

Discipline - 1-21-2007 at 02:42 PM

Poo poo dance.

Classic.

JawnDiablo - 1-21-2007 at 08:22 PM

ugh i am still doing the poo poo dance and am going down to the murphys aw show at the khyber tonight. i DO NOT want to have to shit in that place. god help me.