I need to make a speech this weekend

moron - 10-5-2004 at 03:13 PM

Im the best man at my buddy's wedding on Saturday and Im a little nervous Im gonna blank out during the speech or just completely fuck up.

anyone have any tips on good things to say or whatever?

Thats Life - 10-5-2004 at 03:51 PM

just tell embarrassing storys about him then be like i never thought i'd see this day blah blah blah.

Big Ugly - 10-5-2004 at 04:06 PM

I would try to avoid any comments about fucking his mom, sister, grandma, new bride, dog or any others along those lines. This also applies to any experiences the two of you might have shared with drugs, prostitutes, etc.

Of course if you have a funny story about him being passed out those are always good. For example: I remember when Billy funneled 16 beers and passed out and we shaved his balls. Ah, good times eh Billy?

Good wholesome anecdotes like that are always good.

BDx13 - 10-5-2004 at 04:49 PM

brevity, my friend, brevity.

- introduce yourself to everyone and tell em how you know billy;
- tell the story about billy's shaved nuts for a quick laugh;
- ask everyone to raise their glasses;
- make a sincere statement about your enthuiasm for the bride and groom and their future together (be sure to compliment billy's wife);
- sit your ass down in under four minutes.

newbreedbrian - 10-5-2004 at 10:55 PM

good advice overall. the only thing you forgot was make sure to wink at billys wife and make a quick blowjob motion. they'll realize youre joking. and if youre not all that much funnier.

RomanticViolence - 10-6-2004 at 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Big Duane
brevity, my friend, brevity.

- introduce yourself to everyone and tell em how you know billy;
- tell the story about billy's shaved nuts for a quick laugh;
- ask everyone to raise their glasses;
- make a sincere statement about your enthuiasm for the bride and groom and their future together (be sure to compliment billy's wife);
- sit your ass down in under four minutes.

I agree with duane. Make sure you bring back some pics. i wanna see

moron - 10-11-2004 at 03:44 PM

thanks for the advice. It went well, but like always I turned bright red when I opened my mouth. I kept it brief and I wasnt nervous until I made the mistake of looking out at everyone staring at me. Then my heart started to race and my hands started shaking. I thought I was going to spill the champagne, but it all worked out just fine.

...and try as I might, I couldnt get drunk. I had a Tequila Sunrise, a gin and tonic, a long island iced tea and a bottle of red wine but I didnt even get a buzz. Still, I had an excellent time.

I didnt bring my camera so I dont have any pictures of my own, but Im pretty sure my girlfriend has some. I caught the garder again... my second time catching it at a wedding this year... and I know she got some pictures of that. I just need to get my scanner working at some point and I can show that.

here's a little collage from the last wedding though...

BDx13 - 10-11-2004 at 06:07 PM

i don't know moron, looks to me like youre having a pretty good time sliding that thing up that girls leg! hope your woman doesnt mind!

moron - 10-11-2004 at 06:33 PM

oh man. that girl was fucking hot. before I put the garder on her leg the girl's mother threatened me with a bottle of wine. I pointed to my girlfriend, who thought it was all funny as hell, and said "dont worry. my girlfriend's watching".

Funny thing is that I bought the engagment ring for my girlfriend two weeks after that wedding. I guess it was just kind of fitting that I caught it again.