Pissin' my pants laughing

tireironsaint - 11-9-2005 at 12:44 AM

I'm sittin' here with one of my roommates laughin' our asses off at Misfits lyrics. I always keep it in the back of my head that 99% of their lyrics are dumber than shit, but he didn't realize it, so we broke out some lyrics and listened to some of the box set. We were both laughing so hard we had tears running down our faces. If you haven't really read the lyrics, I highly recommend it, especially if you're not the biggest fan of them as it stands (Steve, I'm lookin' at you). Here's a little sample.......

Here in this place lies the genie of death
Touch it, see it
Whoa
Here in this place is a means to your end
Touch it, feel it
Green hell

You've come to this like no one could
I bet you never knew you woke it
And don't you run away from anything
I bet you thought you really could in Hell

We're gonna burn in hell
Green hell
Like every hell but kind of green
In hell, green hell
We're gonna face the mess we're
In hell, green hell
I think I'd rather be up here
In hell, green hell
You know I fucking shake apart
In hell, green hell
Gotta find a way that you will stay
Green hell
Cannot forget about the heat
In hell, green hell
Hell is green, I need a flame
In hell, green hell
Gotta burn in hell
Green hell

You've come to this like no one could
I bet you never knew you woke it
And don't you run from anything
I bet you thought you really could take it

Here in this place is the genie of death
Touch it, see it
Whoa
Here in this place is a means to your end
Touch it, feel it
Green hell

You've come to this like no one could
I bet you never knew you woke it
And don't you run away from anything
I bet you thought you really could
You've come to this like no one could
I bet you never knew you woke it
We're gonna burn in Hell
Green hell

And yes, those are the real lyrics. It helps to read that aloud in a deadpan voice, pausing slightly between the lines. I seriously have not laughed that hard in a loooooong time. After reading that aloud we listened to the song while following along reading the lyrics and it's even better......Here's some highlights from some other songs, see if you can guess which ones....

And I will not sit on broken glass
Not for you or anyone
I will not cut my fucking ass

or

Die sweet prince
Meat tastes like mince
The jackal's eaten enough for today

Die sweet prince
Meat tastes like shit
Enough to make that jackal spit

Spit jackal spit

Spit and choke on the lives you've taken
You can't shake them loose

All morsels are gone, they're too small
Accessible from a source so tall
Little sister all of my love

Bitch
Bitch, she is
Cut her from the inside out

Dead daughter in the river
Entrance gained by her liver
Play, theme for a jackal play

or how about

Rotted corpse, sex decay
Breasts all full of slugs
No answer for the accident
Her cunt has all dried up, you see

want more? Here...

Light
In the doorway
Shining so bright
In the doorway
I clench your hips
For the flesh
You tore my prose

In the doorway
Animal lie
Like the doorway
As you hide
Hear it then
Will you let me in

Let me in
Oh

In the doorway
We were so young
In the doorway
Release the black dogs
On our breasts
We'll never rest

We'll never rest
We'll never forget
I ain't never gonna let you rest

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

or maybe

An omelet of disease awaits your noontime meal
Her mouth of germicide seducing all your glands

Any guesses on which lyrics fit which songs? Some are easy to figure out, but some may surprise you. Anybody know of any other bands with lyrics this ridiculous?

clevohardcore - 11-9-2005 at 01:41 AM

Green hell is sweet lyrics. Maybe I'm an idiot but that song is rad.

tireironsaint - 11-9-2005 at 02:07 AM

The GENIE OF DEATH!

like every hell, BUT KIND OF GREEN!

Cannot forget about the heat
In hell, green hell
Hell is green, I need a flame
In hell, green hell

'sall I'm sayin'....

clevohardcore - 11-9-2005 at 02:22 AM

I know. Listen to SKULL. I never look to the misfits for information. I pull out my Dead kennedy's records entertained and mis-informed. Misfits are a in 3rd place just after the Ramones for bad lyrics.

clevohardcore - 11-9-2005 at 02:22 AM

Descendents are up their too.

XHonusWagnerX - 11-9-2005 at 06:30 AM

I think its is halloween II but I'm not sure, anyway there's a line that says something like "they all changed thei names to Chicago".

I have a friend who named his son
Owen CHICAGO Gray. He also has a tattoo of the cromson ghost wearing a sombrero.... My friend not his son.

defstarsteve - 11-9-2005 at 10:01 AM

someone should do spoken word misfits lyrics...
like rollins only worse... over emphasise everything

I have never read the lyrics as when I hear the misfits I begin to convulse and blood runs from my eyes...
my hatred runs deep...
death to elvis morrison

GabeTexasGAMC - 11-9-2005 at 12:57 PM

im sorry....

I aint no godamned son of a bitch, you better think about it baby babe!

so dumb, but i love it!

Discipline - 11-9-2005 at 01:44 PM

The lyrics to Rat Fink are the dumbest of all.

I still love the Misfits though.

Dave - 11-9-2005 at 02:55 PM

dumb, yes, fun, yes, good, yes.
but that could be said for any number of bands.
the dickies, ramones, rezillos, circle jerks, etc. etc. etc.

all gems.

RomanticViolence - 11-9-2005 at 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tireironsaint
The GENIE OF DEATH!

like every hell, BUT KIND OF GREEN!

Cannot forget about the heat
In hell, green hell
Hell is green, I need a flame
In hell, green hell

'sall I'm sayin'....

Oh man that is fucking great.. hahahahaha. Good times!

tireironsaint - 11-9-2005 at 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dave
dumb, yes, fun, yes, good, yes.
but that could be said for any number of bands.
the dickies, ramones, rezillos, circle jerks, etc. etc. etc.

all gems.

Agreed, but for the most part the lyrics of all those bands make sense, even if it is ridiculous in a way. I honestly cannot figure out what the hell Danzig was thinkin' when he not only wrote those lyrics, but sang them passionately night after night for years.

XHonusWagnerX - 11-9-2005 at 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tireironsaint

Quote:

Originally posted by Dave
dumb, yes, fun, yes, good, yes.
but that could be said for any number of bands.
the dickies, ramones, rezillos, circle jerks, etc. etc. etc.

all gems.

Thats true. Danzig is so serious and was singing such silly stuff. At least the other bands were all kind of silly.

Terror Aesthetic - 11-10-2005 at 01:35 PM

some of it kind of reminds me of all of old crust 7s by japanese bands. cant believe no one quoted from return of the fly.....

tireironsaint - 11-10-2005 at 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Terror Aesthetic
some of it kind of reminds me of all of old crust 7s by japanese bands. cant believe no one quoted from return of the fly.....

That one's too easy. What'd he do, sit down with the cast list and try to find names that rhyme?

RomanticViolence - 11-2-2010 at 11:31 AM

Just looking through old stuff and found this... Tireironsaint is such a silly boy.

That is all.

Johnny_Whistle - 11-2-2010 at 12:53 PM

I'm 138
He's 138
She's 138
We're all 138
Wouldn't you like to be 138 too?

--------------------

I've got something to say
It's better to burn out than kill a baby today

--------------------

A couple of Danzig mashups for your reading pleasure.

I'm amazed no one's thought to suggest a "Write a Danzig song" contest...

XnMeX - 11-2-2010 at 01:25 PM

A lot of it sounds like the type of bad poetry that would be forced upon you in high school from dating that "odd" goth chick and then she asks what you think...

CLASSIC!

JawnDiablo - 11-2-2010 at 02:29 PM

Richard Cheese needs to do a Misfits song

RomanticViolence - 11-2-2010 at 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Johnny_Whistle

I'm amazed no one's thought to suggest a "Write a Danzig song" contest...

Haha... that would be awesome!

Colin - 11-3-2010 at 03:46 AM

Walls start closing in around you
My twins of evil
They shake you by the collarbone
Then snap your ribcage
And broken bodies in a death rock dance hall
Please be my partner
And eyeballs pop, accelerated blood beat
Veins 'a' shaking
And all Hell breaks loose
Yea, evil is as evil does and who
Yeah, who but me could write this book of cruel
I send my murdergram to all the monster kids
It comes right back to me
And it's signed in their daddys' blood

XnMeX - 11-3-2010 at 07:26 AM

I still think "Violent World" is the "best"...

Pregnant mothers in mexico
Give birth to stillborn monster babies
Hideous deformed two-headed monsters
Vivisected for your magazine essay

C'mon, c'mon
C'mon to the violent world with me
C'mon, c'mon
C'mon to the violent world with me

Nazi demons, nazi youth
Wolverines in dark [brown/black] suits
Yea, they shove you in an oven and you start to cook
Blame it all on nazi youth

Well c'mon, c'mon
C'mon to the violent world with me

C'mon, c'mon
C'mon to the violent world with me

Any opportunity comes
Can't afford to rot, so you move on
Any opportunity comes
Can't afford the nazi movement