A question that needs a response

clevohardcore - 2-28-2007 at 05:56 PM

You are invited to a dinner and a party. Dinner is at a restaurant. Its a 30th suprise party for your wifes friend Lisa put on by her husband and her friends. You get there and sit next to a couple people you don't know and start conversation. After 30 minutes your wife is facing you while sitting. The husband comes up from behind her and kisses her on the cheek and puts his arm around her and says "hey" all this from behind her. Then he shakes your hand and says thanks for coming. Then walks away.

What do you think? Do? Act?

moron - 2-28-2007 at 06:01 PM

I guess my line of questioning/action would depend on how my wife reacted to that guy hugging and kissing her.

upyerbum - 2-28-2007 at 06:02 PM

I'd go wish his wife a Happy Birthday and give her some spankin's.

crazyfists28 - 2-28-2007 at 06:08 PM

im the jealous/ overreactiing type so with a few brews in me at a party you know i'd be pulling the wife aside for some interrogating. im sure its harmless

BDx13 - 2-28-2007 at 06:08 PM

assuming my wife knew him and was ok with it, the fact the a guy gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek wouldn't bother me at all. (if it made her uncomfortable, then i'd have a problem.)

the fact that he couldn't be bothered to introduce himself to me after the fact would definitely bother me.

BDx13 - 2-28-2007 at 06:14 PM

plus... i dunno about where you live, but after a decade in new york, the cheek kiss greeting seems almost mandatory among certain people. i've had people i just met kiss me.

personally, i try to avoid the double cheek kiss and stick with the single. too much room for confusion there. but the euros, they love a good double. if a good friend initiates the hello kiss, i really plant it on 'em. none of this air kissin' for me!

Discipline - 2-28-2007 at 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BD
assuming my wife knew him and was ok with it, the fact the a guy gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek wouldn't bother me at all. (if it made her uncomfortable, then i'd have a problem.)

the fact that he couldn't be bothered to introduce himself to me after the fact would definitely bother me.

MyOwnWay - 2-28-2007 at 06:28 PM

If it was someone she was cool with for a while, I'd be easy about it. If it made her uncomfortable in the slightest way, myself and dude would have a man to man discussion.

Discipline - 2-28-2007 at 06:28 PM

Quote:

XHonusWagnerX - 2-28-2007 at 07:15 PM

Its most likely an over affectionate guy and means nothing, but I would most likely ask my wife at somepoint.

Voodoobillyman - 2-28-2007 at 08:53 PM

You should have stabbed his fuckin eyes out with your fork bro! Nah, I agree with the how your wife reacted thing.

clevohardcore - 2-28-2007 at 09:11 PM

Na, dude is a arrogant piece of shit that has messed around on his wife in the past. Dude had his brothers and friends there and all I had was myself. We would have thrown down otherwise.

clevohardcore - 2-28-2007 at 09:13 PM

My wife was like "Hey" and smiled and laughed. The very thing you do not want to see.

tireironsaint - 2-28-2007 at 09:17 PM

I would say that if she was open about it in front of you then you have nothing to worry about. He may have been trying to pull some shit and make you feel like he has had some kind of shit with your wife, or could if he wanted to, but I doubt very seriously that she would have reacted in the way you describe if there was anything to really worry about.

That said, it sounds like the guy is a complete douche sucking scumbag who needs to be taught some manners, but with those numbers stacked against you (not to mention the grief you probably would have caught from the wife later on) I think letting it slide was the proper response in that particular situation.

clevohardcore - 2-28-2007 at 09:31 PM

I think he was seeing how far he could go. Now that her response not negative he may try and take it a step further when given the chance. I eeded to get some points of view before we have at it. We left early and I ripped into her on the drive home. We argued and she siad the worst thing possible. "Maybe he was just being nice". We haven't spoken since. Yes, its akward living with someone and not speaking.

Voodoobillyman - 3-1-2007 at 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by clevohardcore
I think he was seeing how far he could go. Now that her response not negative he may try and take it a step further when given the chance. I eeded to get some points of view before we have at it. We left early and I ripped into her on the drive home. We argued and she siad the worst thing possible. "Maybe he was just being nice". We haven't spoken since. Yes, its akward living with someone and not speaking.

I'm sorry to hear this man, but she should understand what your problem was, especially if he strayed the way you said he has. It says to me his intentions were not harmless and your wife should back you up in seeing this.

moron - 3-1-2007 at 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by clevohardcore
We argued and she siad the worst thing possible. "Maybe he was just being nice".

no, I think the worst thing she could have said is something like "yeah, we fucked before, but we're just friends now". That's just info you wouldnt need to know.

Voodoobillyman - 3-1-2007 at 12:02 PM

Did you happen to notice how his wife reacted?

BDx13 - 3-1-2007 at 12:56 PM

Is your concern that maybe something did happen between them, or just that maybe he wants to try and see if something will?

If you know they don't have a history, go apologize to your wife immeditaly. Tell her you're sorry for gettin' hot, but that she means everything to you, and you can't bear the thought of someone trying to demean her. Remind her (assuming she knows he's a cheat) that he is not a person of high moral standard, and that you don't want him getting any ideas about his relationship with the woman you love.

The tough part will be in the future. When she hangs out with her best friend, is it usually just the two of them, or them and other women? Or is he around, too? You might have to start tagging along on girl's night out.

clevohardcore - 3-1-2007 at 01:33 PM

We had it out. I laid down the law. All is good. thanks for all your input. I needed to bounce this off some people before we had it out.

All is good and my wife will no longer talk with Lisa. Friendship is not that important to disturb a marriage.

I'm no idiot and I'm not getting played like a record.

clevohardcore - 3-1-2007 at 01:37 PM

Dude was trying to get the best of me. He was able to. He had family and friends there. I had nothing.

His time will come when things are a little more even.

BDx13 - 3-1-2007 at 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by clevohardcore

All is good and my wife will no longer talk with Lisa. Friendship is not that important to disturb a marriage.

sucks for your wife and her friend that the husband is a dick, but this sounds like a good idea.

thedog - 3-1-2007 at 02:00 PM

i hate people like this.

similar thing happened to me.
shortly after i started seeing my girlfriend we
were out at a bar and her ex was there.

he came up and talked to her for a minute
and never really paid me any attention.
didnt say a word to me, and he knew i was her boyfriend

this was years ago now
but i still think he is a clown.

i didnt fight with my gf tho, no reason too.
i knew it was her ex.
didnt care about that.
just the fact he had no manners.

anyway,
it sounds like the guy is just a fuckin putz.
dont let it effect you marriage.

Jason the Magnificent - 3-1-2007 at 02:18 PM

Things like this is why I dont even like leaving the house. People as a whole don't know how to not be inconsiderate assholes and some dick is always going to get under your skin in some type of situation.

I'm too old and tired to want to deal with the drama and repercussions of the drama coming from it anymore.

Get the 5 movie plan with Netflix and lock your doors.

moron - 3-1-2007 at 02:48 PM

I was gonna say something similar to Duane like "focus on the fact that the guy is a douche and that is what made you angry not your wife's reaction". It's tough to give advice like this though without really knowing the whole situation.

It sucks that your wife has to give up a friend because of this guy, but whatever works.

Voodoobillyman - 3-1-2007 at 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by clevohardcore
Dude was trying to get the best of me. He was able to. He had family and friends there. I had nothing.

His time will come when things are a little more even.

Fuck yeah bro! catch him in the streets and brick his fuckin head in!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your wife must not have been real close to that Lisa chick to just say fuck it I won;t hang with her anymore, so it dosen't matter anyway. Now you really have carte blanche to kick his teeth down his throat if the right situation provides for it.

clevohardcore - 3-1-2007 at 05:07 PM

I never liked that girlfriend of hers in the first place. She seems to always have issues or create them. So whatever. My wife is actually pissed htat it happened and has no reservations with no longer having her as a friend.

Voodoobillyman - 3-1-2007 at 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by clevohardcore
I never liked that girlfriend of hers in the first place. She seems to always have issues or create them. So whatever. My wife is actually pissed htat it happened and has no reservations with no longer having her as a friend.

thats good, now hunt him down like the dog he is and eradicate his ass