Leave it to a Newfie
(For those unaware, Newfies are people from Newfoundland, and they've been the but of many jokes for many years.)
An Australian, an Irishman and a Newfie are in a bar.
They're staring at another man, suddenly the Irishman says, 'It's Jesus!' Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a
pint Of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a Bottle of Molson Canadian. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints
slowly, one after another.
After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When
he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement, 'My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!'
Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager. As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock. 'Strewth mate, the bad back I've had
all my life is completely gone! It's a miracle.'
Jesus then approaches the Newfie who knocks over a chair and a table in trying to get away from the Son of God. 'What's wrong, my son?'
asked Jesus. The Newfie shouts, 'F-off, I'm on Workers'
Compensation!'
‘Do you know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun. Straight through your heart.’
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