clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
Member Is Offline
Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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Joke thread
My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in it's ears and cleaned both ears
and the dog could hear fine. The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair
remover and rub in it's ears once a month. The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair
remover. At the register the druggist tells her, "If you're going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days." The lady says "I'm
not using it under my arms." The druggist says, "If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days." The lady says "I'm not using it
on my legs either, and if you must know I'm using it on my schnauzer." The druggist says, "Stay off your bicycle for a week."
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RomanticViolence
* Jennytailya *
Posts: 1547
Registered: 3-26-2004
Location: Baltimore MD
Member Is Offline
Mood: Fuck U All
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Ha! good times 
Have you ever noticed how crayons are a lot like M&M's? All the colors tend to taste the same.
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
Member Is Offline
Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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3 Wishes
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball
into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and
found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the
frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times
ten." The woman said, "That's okay." and for her first wish,
she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most
handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to. " The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he
will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM! she's the most beautiful woman in the world. For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the
world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you ". The woman said, "That's
okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM! she's the richest woman in the world. The frog then inquired about her third
wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack. Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop
here and continue feeling good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~ Attention Male readers ONLY : Please scroll down
>>> >> v
>>> >> v
>>> >> v
>>> >> v
>>> >> v
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife. Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart. Let them
continue to think that way and just enjoy the show. PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this, it only goes to show that you women never
listen!
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BDx13
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man, that was like three jokes in one!
If I fail math, there goes my chance at a good job and a happy life full of hard work.
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BDx13
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I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought
I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when your
calling for a cab.
I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself
Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right
curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs
all the way up. You know the kind. So I'm in my room and figure, what the
heck, I'll give her a call.
"Hello?" the woman says. Wow! she sounded sexy. "Hi, I hear you give a great
massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I
should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is
sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the
whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys,
anything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night;
Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream,
anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?"
She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press
9."
If I fail math, there goes my chance at a good job and a happy life full of hard work.
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BDx13
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In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they
concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00 and 3 years of research, they concluded that it was to give
the woman
more pleasure during sex.
Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of $76.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's
hand from flying off and hitting him on the forehead.
If I fail math, there goes my chance at a good job and a happy life full of hard work.
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tireironsaint
* BANNED *
Posts: 4299
Registered: 5-14-2003
Location: Colorado
Member Is Offline
Mood: Beltones
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So this penguin decides it looks like a nice day to take a little cruise around town in his car. He's drivin' along when suddenly, BAM, POW,
BANG...his car breaks down. The penguin jumps outta the car and starts cussing a blue streak when he notices that he's right in front of a mechanic's
shop. He goes on in and talks to the mechanic who tells him it'll only take a few minutes for him to take a look and find the problem. The penguin
says he'll just take a little walk while he's waiting. He walks back outside and is amazed to discover that there is an ice cream parlor right across
the street! It's a well known fact that penguins absolutely love ice cream, so of course he runs over and orders a big bowl of vanilla (they might
love ice cream, but they ain't too interested in all the fancy flavors and sprinkles and shit). Anyway, this penguin starts tearin' into the ice
cream, makin' a huge mess gettin' ice cream all over his beak and everything and then he figures it's probably been long enough to go check with the
mechanic, so he heads back across the street. The mechanic says "hey, it looks like ya blew a seal", to which the penguin replies "NO, NO, it's just a
little ice cream!!"
Veritas odium parit
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JawnDiablo
Posting Freak
Posts: 12139
Registered: 4-21-2005
Location: 1902666
Member Is Offline
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shit...no dead baby jokes yet...i'm impressed guys
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