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Enyo
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Posts: 337
Registered: 12-6-2008
Location: Va, USA
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I'm a mom!
I know I don't post a lot, but I have been crowing from the rooftops and I figured I'd do a little shouting here too. 
My hubby and I are foster parents.... and we got our first call!!
We originally said we wanted a child under 3, but surprise! she's 11. We didn't even have a bed for her. She is sooo cute, but she looks 16. We took
her out and college guys were gawking at her. 
So far so good.. she's been with us 5 days.. she's really starting to open up to me about all the things that went on in her home.. it's stuff you
don't ever want to hear.
There are so many things she's never done... We took her to the circus today... You should have seen her face.
She's so much like an adult, she's been fending for herself for a long time, but she's still such a little kid.
I am loving every minute of this. My hubby says I glow.
I'm trying so hard to do it right.. I hope I am. I just wish someone had told me that once you become a mom you never get to sit down again. Or sleep
(I'm up worrying about her). Or eat without jumping up at least 3 times.
The circumstances of her case are private but it's not good. and it doesn't look like she'll be going home again, ever. So we could end up adopting
her. a TWEEN!, Am I totally nuts?!
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random
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congrats! you've posted about the foster thing before. glad a child in need has two happy parents.
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barc0debaby
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Congrats! Thats awesome that you went that route and are giving a kid a second chance at life.
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defstarsteve
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as the parent of a tween/teen
congrats
all I can say is it is fucking hard,
be patient and hang in there
becasue it is going to be trying at times, but very rewarding at the same time...
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thedog
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thats awesome.
congrats to both of you.
\"thank you very little\"
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BDx13
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wow, i didn't realize you guys were on the list already.
congratulations.
that seems like it could be a great age - not as needy as a toddler, not as rebellious as a teen?
give you some time to get to know one another before the teenage years.
if you don't mind me asking (and if you can talk about it)...
how does she seem?
is she reserved and cautious around you?
doe she seem relieved to be in a good home?
or are things straight up like a lifetime movie?
If I fail math, there goes my chance at a good job and a happy life full of hard work.
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
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Do the very best you can. Don't be a best friend be a BEST MOM. She will thank you for it. I can only imagine what she has went through with the type
of scum that walk the earth, but make sure she gets proper treatment, a ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on. I have to say this is probably the
most noble thing I ever saw posted on THORP. It's up there for sure. Posts like this make me feel good about belonging to this message board. This is
an amazing and generous thing your are doing for that child.
Each aspect of the soul has it's own part to play, but the ideal is harmonious agreement with reason and control.
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defstarsteve
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I have questions as well, but also a lot of advice...
but you guys need time to grow into the situation and learn from each other....
so maybe we'll leave the advice until you need it...
keep things posi
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upyerbum
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That is so good to hear. I can feel you're excitement right through the screen. And you are a little bit nuts but that's a prerequisite.
Congratulations and might I add how admirable an act this is. And it will be me asking your advice in the next few years, as my girl is 8.
(when I read the title I thought you might have bought a guitar  )
Well, its this place where nobody works, and the pigs don\'t give you any shit. Everyone smokes weed and gets drunk all day. Its a place where
cunts like me and you can truly take it easy and relax. Know what I mean?
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Enyo
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Posts: 337
Registered: 12-6-2008
Location: Va, USA
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Clevo- I get what you're saying. I DO. but I'm not some angel. I'm not a hero. I was just someone who wanted to help kids and to get to be a mom- if
only for a little while. Deep down I'm a selfish whiny lazy girl.
BD- she is doing AMAZING. Her home life was very loud and unstable. She basically took care of herself and because of that has made some not good
decisions. like dying her hair and wearing GOBS of makeup. We fixed the hair today, and we have had a nice long talk about what kind of makeup is ok.
(not much, ha ha!)
She is really opening up to me. We got her a boombox and I asked to make a list of songs she likes, most were very age appropriate (Miley Cyrus,
Taylor Swift) Some were not so much so. I had her help me make some banana bread on Sunday morning and I said "You know that Lee and I really want you
to be happy here, but it's our job to protect you and do what we think is best, even if sometimes that doesn't make you happy. So when you want to
listen to songs that glorify sex and drugs and drinking, you know that we can't stop you from hearing them, but we're not going to buy it for you."
Tonight she told me that she really likes it here and asked if she had a choice in going home. I had to tell her no. because she really doesn't.  We talked again about how our rules show that we care and why we put those rules in
place.
She "gets" it. She WANTS boundries and rules. Mostly she wants someone to care about her. I am trying to do all the little things. Like packing her
lunch and putting a note inside.
In all honesty we got SO lucky. She is really beautiful, she is great with the dogs, She WANTS to go to school. (WHAT?!) She is calm and quiet and
respectful. There are more issues here than just her home life. One (because it's not related to the case, kinda, I think is ok to share... her mom is
terminally ill.. has been sick for a long time and is now on hospice) So she is greiving. and I'm sure we will start to see that in the next few
weeks.
Please keep us in your good thoughts because it has been SO hard. I need to be firm, but she's so scared and unsure of everything right now.. I'm
trying to guide more with postive reinforcment than negative.
BTW- what's a fair weekly allowance?
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Enyo
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Posts: 337
Registered: 12-6-2008
Location: Va, USA
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Sorry- everyone else- I didn't answer specifically... I can answer some questions but not many.
Thank you all so so much for the support!! 
Defstar- I'll definitely ask when I need too. She seems to really look for rules, because she's never had any. I'm 100% sure there will come a day
when she's slamming the doors and yelling that she HATESus, but for right now.. I say jump and she pulls out the trampoline. I can only hope it stays that way forever..lol
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defstarsteve
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keep it poisitive
there will be times where she tries to push you, but that is just to see how much you care...
be strict but fair in those cases...
has she ahd to do a lot of actual regualr "chores" in the past...
she might have been raising herself, but may not know all of the right things to do, so a simple choir chart spelling out how and what you expect
daily will make the transition a little easier...
then you can base the allowance off of that...
all the chores down with no problems= full
some problems or rebaellion a little less... ect...
helps to teach proper resposibility and your house rules, as well as being rewarding
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BDx13
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obviously, common sense rules, but if you find yourself unfamiliar with some of the media in a tween girl's life, check this site: http://www.commonsensemedia.org
i've been on a few times after my 5y/o came home from the Y wanting to watching something she heard about from another kid. my wife or i would check
out the show, then look it it up on this site, like, "this shit ain't right for a five year old!!"
If I fail math, there goes my chance at a good job and a happy life full of hard work.
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DaveMoral
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It's a heroic thing you're doing there, Enyo. Congratulations to you and your hubby, and the little girl. I'm sure things will work out great for you
all.
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morgan
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Congratulations. I know everyone else has said it but its amazing that yall are giving this kid a second chance.
Support the arts, shoot a rapper.
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newbreedbrian
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awesome, best of luck to ya. you're a really good person for taking this on.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, ?You know, I want to set those people over there on
fire, but I?m just not close enough to get the job done.? George Carlin
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Jason the Magnificent
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A very noble, class thing. Lots of people want to have kids, few have the cajones to take care of ones that are already here fading away.
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JawnDiablo
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awesome
congratulations
it's refreshing to hear there are good selfless people out there that would do this.
I mean it's not a surprise on here with our peeps , but you know what i mean.
my son is 12 and already has a female fan base, i just got old real fast when i heard about it....
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Dave
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congrats enyo, by the sounds of it your going to do fine, just take it day by day, and see what new adventures your new family has in store.
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Discipline
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Congrats. It's too bad more people don't do the same thing.
‘Do you know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun. Straight through your heart.’
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DAK
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Congrats!
Good for you.
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Furly
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Congrats lady!
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BKT
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Enyo
I know I don't post a lot, but I have been crowing from the rooftops and I figured I'd do a little shouting here too.
My hubby and I are foster parents.... and we got our first call!!
We originally said we wanted a child under 3, but surprise! she's 11. We didn't even have a bed for her. She is sooo cute, but she looks 16. We took
her out and college guys were gawking at her.
So far so good.. she's been with us 5 days.. she's really starting to open up to me about all the things that went on in her home.. it's stuff you
don't ever want to hear.
There are so many things she's never done... We took her to the circus today... You should have seen her face.
She's so much like an adult, she's been fending for herself for a long time, but she's still such a little kid.
I am loving every minute of this. My hubby says I glow.
I'm trying so hard to do it right.. I hope I am. I just wish someone had told me that once you become a mom you never get to sit down again. Or sleep
(I'm up worrying about her). Or eat without jumping up at least 3 times.
The circumstances of her case are private but it's not good. and it doesn't look like she'll be going home again, ever. So we could end up adopting
her. a TWEEN!, Am I totally nuts?! |
Are you nuts? haha no. What you are is what every parent should be, if there were more people like you with a heart as big I am positive this world
would be a much better place. Congrats to you and your hubby and I hope this world shines on you guys a light that is brighter then the sun, I think
what you are doing is amazing and I am sure the road will be rough sometimes, but you will do just fine.
Strong work Enyo.
MM.
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Enyo
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Posts: 337
Registered: 12-6-2008
Location: Va, USA
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Thanks MM!! Thanks Everyone. You guys are so great!!
Because her privacy has to be protected I can't give out any info or share pictures but IF we adopt... I'll share some pics then
I put her on the bus today for the first time. (She's in the 5th grade) I came inside and cried and cried. She's so fragile and the world is such a
mean place. I hugged her like 80 times before the bus got here. LOL
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panzerkreuzer
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Enyo
Am I totally nuts?! |
yes, you are. but in the best possible way.
not that much people have the courage to give children a second chance with a new family. i don´t think i could do something like that.
i wish all three of you all the best that you become a happy family.
enyo, am i allowed to ask how old and you husband are?
and now teach her listening to the ramones!
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