Enyo
Member
Posts: 337
Registered: 12-6-2008
Location: Va, USA
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updating on our Foster case
We are going to have to move her.
this breaks my heart but we are in so far over our heads it's not even funny. The system is so fucked up. I don't even know where to begin... they
flat out lied about the issues this child has. and I can't handle her. she's too big for me to physically control her.
I can't tell you how much my heart is breaking. I haven't slept in basically two weeks. I'm smoking almost 3 packs a day! A DAY!
At this point I don't know if we will try to foster again. The disregard for these children is overwhelming. No one answers my calls and no one calls
me back or answers emails.
It is no wonder that the only people they can get to foster are people in it for money or to abuse children. They are the only people that can stomach
the system.
I feel so so bad for this kid, I feel like a total failure and I am letting her down.  I just don't know what else to do because I can not control her and I can not run my house like a prison on lock down.
I wish I had never done this.. now I am just one more person that has failed this child.
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tireironsaint
* BANNED *
Posts: 4299
Registered: 5-14-2003
Location: Colorado
Member Is Offline
Mood: Beltones
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Don't feel bad, you've done all you can and that's well beyond what most people would ever try to do. After having gone through this as a kid when my
parents tried to adopt kids because they couldn't have any more and thought it would be bad for me to be an only child, I know how horrible it can be.
We ended up getting fucked over by the system and fostering a few kids with massive issues which led to serious problems for me and was a huge
contributing factor in my parents' divorce. I truly wish that everytime people did something noble like taking a kid into their home that it would
work out for the best, but the system is just set up to shuffle kids from one home to the next to keep from costing the state too much money.
Veritas odium parit
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
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Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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It's romantic in the movies. When the government, reality, outside peers, internal stress, all take part. Things may break. You tried and that is all
you can do. Now you can only hope that child will miraculously change overnight and be what you hope she can. Problem is, it doesn't happen that way.
No one has taught this child to have faith. She has built up walls that no one will break. Probably, she is collapsing underneath them. She is blinded
by her past that she can't notice a person trying to honestly help her. It's not your fault, it's just sad she won't let the good people inside.
I don't know where that came from. Its all assumptions.
Each aspect of the soul has it's own part to play, but the ideal is harmonious agreement with reason and control.
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random
Posting Freak
Posts: 2293
Registered: 7-30-2006
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Not that any of us know you in real life, but you've made it clear you had genuine intentions with this. I seriously doubt the situation turned out
this way because you weren't as prepared as you should have been. Sometimes shit just goes bad. I don't recall if there's a reason you went foster
instead of adopting or having your own, but it was great way to try and isn't they end... you can do foster again or try the other (more permanent)
methods.
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defstarsteve
Posting Freak
Posts: 3505
Registered: 11-19-2003
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you did your best and be proud that you tried...
in this world most people don't give a shit about their own kids, let alone bringing someone into their house they have no relationship with...
my parents tried to foster a child when I was 15...
she was 3 at the time, and was the daughter of my step father’s niece...
by 3 she had been beaten and raped multiple times...
it lasted about 6 months
the state offered no help, and this poor kid needed severe mental help...
she would not eat, barely slept and wouldn't even try to speak or communicate...
we thought it would get better with time, but it got creepier
she would get out of her bed in the middle of the night and just stand and stare at different family members as we slept...
nothing creepier than a 3 year old standing next to your bed and just staring at you
needless to say her problems were greater than my family could afford, emotionally, monetarily, or physically...
she would throw crazy tantrums for no reason...
bah anyhow, 20 years later I'm sure she is either working the pole or a street corner just like her mother...
hell mom and daughter special probably...
hang in there man
tween/teenagers are hard enough as it is when they are your own....
give it some time and when you feel ready give it another try, maybe with a younger child with out so many problems
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morgan
Posting Freak
Posts: 1815
Registered: 7-21-2006
Location: Seguin, TX
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Mood: neighbors fighting
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I'm sorry to hear this. I really don't have the words to express myself here but you did a very noble thing trying to take this kid in and helping.
Support the arts, shoot a rapper.
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BKT
Posting Freak
Posts: 2476
Registered: 7-6-2004
Location: Canada
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You did what you could and what you did was very noble. You are not the one to blame here, if anything you are the only one that deserves a pat on the
back. Hang in there and look forward to what is to come.
MM.
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XHonusWagnerX
Moderator
Posts: 12509
Registered: 7-14-2005
Location: pawtucket
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Mood: hadDCore
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Sorry about all thats been going on but like everyone else said, dont feel bad. You did the best you could! Look at it this way, if you didnt admit
that you couldnt handle it and she stayed with you it probably wouldnt be what was best for you or her because of the struggle. Hoepfully she can get
the kind of help she needs and find a way to deal with all the things that have happened to her.
take care!
| Quote: | Originally posted by REV.PAULIE
HONUS-as much as i can't stand a great deal of what you really like (for my own reasons that i would never hold,nor impose,against you),YOU FUCKING
RULE!
YOU,HONUS,IS WHAT MAKES THE "EDGE" COOL.
YOUR FRIEND,
PAULIE |
check out my post contributions at www.VinylNoize.com
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