XHonusWagnerX
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100 rules to being 'hard core'
1) Be tough at all times.
2) Never cheer after a show... only clap.
3) Be open minded in a "PUNCH PEOPLE" kind of way.
4) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are sentences with "tha" instead of "the" in them.
5) Ankles are tough so bring your socks down into your shoes so we can see them.
6) Tattoos are tough especially when they are on your calves. See rule .5 on how to see said tattoo more clearly.
7) Wear your hoodie in the mosh pit because sweating like a wild pig makes you look tough.
8) Say you got into hardcore 16 years ago, but you are only 15. Because you were core even in the womb.
9) Shit on Target for putting out fake Poison shirts, then secretly go buy one.
10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends.
11) Practice hardcore dancing in front of your mirror and then try them out the next time Terror or First Blood comes to town.
12) A hardcore band is only original if you call it something-core. Ex: Beatdown-core, Brassknuckle-core.
13) Remember, it's fun to punch and kick kung fu style.
14) Prove your toughness by pummling people who are actually enjoying that band.
15) Real hardcore fans are called kids.
16) Complain how hardcore bands are playing with metal bands at all costs!
17) Have your own zine, website, production company or be in a band. Claim you are friends with the singer from Shai Halud.
18) Tell people you work in the music industry. Dont tell them its FYE
19) More ankles people!
20) Embrace everybody in the scene except for those people who are not you.
21) Refer to bands as old school or new school and then act tough again.
22) Pretend that you get Dillinger Escape Plan.
23) Shop at second hand stores and then go buy insanely expensive shoes.
24) Beat people up and then make sure your myspace is chock-full of big ups to God.
25) Smoking, drinking, and having sex before marriage is too trendy. Real hardcore tough guys abstain.
26) Whatever you do, don't let the singer on stage ever sing in the mic. Make sure you grab it from him and sing in it yourself. After all, you do a
better job singing than him. It's a wonder they didn't put you on the album.
27) Start your own hardcore band.
28) Have your logo resemble some random 80's product for nostalgia.
29) Talk about the scene any chance you get. Say as many obscure hardcore bands from NJ as possible.
30) If you are shy, start an emo band so you don't have to look at the audience.
31) People who know more bands than you are better than you.
32) Add the letter X before and after important words. Ex: XhardcorekidX, XmoshfuckX
33) Never talk about how cool rap music is unless you are attempting to be funny in which case stop it because hardcore kids are tough not funny.
34) It's merch not merchandise.
35) Hardcore girls must wear either head bands, bandanas or pig tails at all times.
36) Stretch your ears out to look more intimidating.
37) The bigger you stretch your ears out, THE MORE HARDCORE YOU ARE.
38) Your ears should be stretched out enough to accommodate a block of wood, a hubcap, or a penis.
39) People in the front row are best used as a ladder/staircase to reach your goal... steal the mic away from the singer.
40) When people ask you if you like a band always say, "I only like the old stuff" or "I haven't really gotten into the new stuff."
41) Buy all of that band's merch.
42) Wear your new merch at the next hardcore show.
43) Repeat .41 and .42
44) If you have to wear glasses, make sure they are thick, black framed ones.
45) Don't tell anybody, but make sure you try on your new vintage clothes and stud belt before heading out to see Poison the Well.
46) Never admit you like Hatebreed, but make sure to see them 12 times that year and say you are here to see the few bands opening, cuz someone in one
of those bands is your "boy".
47) Complain that they aren't playing with Slayer, but don't admit you actually dont know any Slayer songs.
48) Complain at all costs.
49) Tag team hardcore dancing is cool.
50) Real hardcore kids are really struggling photographers.
51) You don't go to hardcore concerts, you go to hardcore shows. BIG difference.
52) Name your hardcore dance moves things like "The Mother Fuck" or "Kick That Guy's Ass Move" or better yet... stay home and cry.
53) Protect your body from swinging limbs by sacrificing your two arms.
54) Scream about love.
55) All age venues are important so you are not tempted to drink.
56) Claim you know a guy who knows a guy whose best friend was standing next to the guy who got his ass kicked during Converge. Bash the hardcore
scene and then go see The Get Up Kids.
57) Anytime somebody mentions a band always say you know somebody in the band.
58) Wear your pins with honor! Shai Halud, American Nightmare, Minor Threat are the purple heart of valour.
59) Velcro shoes are cool.
60) Don't admit that you have a crush on the singer from Walls of Jericho. If somebody asks, say you respect her as a musician only.
61) Your band name should contain one of the following words: blood, murder, kill, victim and/or "tha".
62) Print your band name as if it was on a bad printing press. Actual graphics are for posers.
63) Sleep on a portrait painted prettier then everyone.
64) 100 bands from around the world are to play in your city. All of them are the world's best hardcore bands. Every label represented, every hardcore
subgenre present. The venue is the best all-ages venue in the world. Tickets are $1.00. It is your job to go around saying the festival should be
free.
65) Record producers must make sure to pump the mid because mid is tough.
66) Re-issue your demos after every album.
67) When the band starts playing, everybody join hands and make a big circle so we can watch the big kids play.
68) Crying on stage makes you a professional.
69) Complain some more.
70) Album covers must be made at home on Photoshop by your good friend.
71) If you are from New York, NEVER smile in a promo pic. In fact, always try to cross your arms and look into the camera as if you are going to beat
up who ever is looking.
72) If you are from New Jersey, NEVER smile in a promo pic either. In fact, try to look like you just lost your girl friend to the hardcore band from
New York.
73) Never admit that emo is country music lyrics mixed with pop rock riffs and marketed by 17 year olds trying to make their friend be the next
Dashboard Confessional.
74) American Idol is your worst enemy (but you voted for Ruben).
75) You can get away with glitter on your face as long as your stretched ear plugs are clear.
76) Girls in boy shorts are cool... Guys in girls jeans are fags
77) Bandanas are cool.
78) Bandanas with big X on them are cooler.
79) Bandanas with big X on them were cool last week, you poser.
80) Your best friend is a guy named XattackX from Jersey who you chat with on AIM everyday. He is coming to see you one day. Really.
81) Chunky breakdowns in your songs are original and you should continue to do them despite every other band doing them which is clearly a rip off of
your band.
82) Judge other bands and always compare them to the socio-cultural effects of the band Integrity.
83) Look up socio-cultural in the dictionary and then get offended.
84) Green Day is the real reason you are still alive.
85) Describe your group of friends as "Your family" or "YOur blood".
86) Obey the laws of the hardcore scene or forever be banished from the circle.
87) WHEN SOMEBODY ASKS YOU WHAT IS HARDCORE RESPOND WITH, "I AM HARDCORE " THEN PUNCH SOMEBODY IN THE FACE FOR LOOKING AT YOU WRONG.
88) Keep punching.
89) Kick a little, too.
90) Punch.
91) Add a threat about their mother for good measure.
92) Pretend you won the fight then pickup your dismembered left arm.
93) You are wearing the same thing as the 40-year old gas pump attendant, but for some strange mystical reason you are cooler than he is.
94) Tell everybody that Bridge 9 Records is too trendy.
95) Did you stop acting tough? I saw you hug that teddy bear.
96) Pierce your tits and tattoo your body.
97) Straight bangs mean straightedge
98) Being vegan means you can't swallow sperm.
99) Have a friend take pics of you dancing and claim they were not staged, although NO ONE around you is dancing and they are looking at you weird in
a "why is he/she dancing now?" kinda way.
100) Take everything personal.
101) No seriously, take everything personal AND assume this is about you...
| Quote: | Originally posted by REV.PAULIE
HONUS-as much as i can't stand a great deal of what you really like (for my own reasons that i would never hold,nor impose,against you),YOU FUCKING
RULE!
YOU,HONUS,IS WHAT MAKES THE "EDGE" COOL.
YOUR FRIEND,
PAULIE |
check out my post contributions at www.VinylNoize.com
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CR83
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More Ankles People!
I love it. Great "find" honus.
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RomanticViolence
* Jennytailya *
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I found something like that awhile back. Funny stuff 
Have you ever noticed how crayons are a lot like M&M's? All the colors tend to taste the same.
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JawnDiablo
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holy crap where did you get this masterpiece?
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Siczine.com
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Yeah I remember seeing this awhile back. The one thing I never got about it, its a list about being hardcore yet it throws in a lot of shit about
being emo.
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DaveMoral
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The two scenes are linked for some godforsaken reason.
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XHonusWagnerX
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| Quote: | Originally posted by juandiablo
holy crap where did you get this masterpiece? |
I found it on Myspace. Someone had posted it as a blog.
| Quote: | Originally posted by REV.PAULIE
HONUS-as much as i can't stand a great deal of what you really like (for my own reasons that i would never hold,nor impose,against you),YOU FUCKING
RULE!
YOU,HONUS,IS WHAT MAKES THE "EDGE" COOL.
YOUR FRIEND,
PAULIE |
check out my post contributions at www.VinylNoize.com
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JawnDiablo
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| Quote: | Originally posted by XHonusWagnerX
| Quote: | Originally posted by juandiablo
holy crap where did you get this masterpiece? |
I found it on Myspace. Someone had posted it as a blog. |
i reposted it on myspace just now haha...but gave you credit
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ENDERA.x
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This is soooooooo old.
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RomanticViolence
* Jennytailya *
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Boycott Christian HC
He he he fucking hillarious... in a sad but true kind of way.
(I think this one is new though, different from the list that was around before???) |
Here http://www.thorprecords.com/boards/viewthread.php?tid=2301
Have you ever noticed how crayons are a lot like M&M's? All the colors tend to taste the same.
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JawnDiablo
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i don't get the ankle part......
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BKT
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me either.
MM.
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Discipline
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Bringing this back because it cracks me up.
‘Do you know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun. Straight through your heart.’
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JawnDiablo
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hardcore is almost a parody of itself at this point isn't it?
I mean at least 89% of it...
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DaveMoral
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^Yep. It's a scene of irony, really.
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Murk
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| Quote: | Originally posted by XHonusWagnerX
73) Never admit that emo is country music lyrics mixed with pop rock riffs and marketed by 17 year olds trying to make their friend be the next
Dashboard Confessional. |
LOL!
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Colin
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ha! Funny....who the fuck listens to Poison The Well? "81) Chunky breakdowns in your songs are original and you should continue to do them despite
every other band doing them which is clearly a rip off of your band". This whole thing reminds me of all the "hard-CORE scene" kids circa 2005. All
of a sudden "hardcore" kids were sprouting up everywhere, swinging their skinny little fists & legs around at shows, wearing shirts of "hardcore"
bands I had never heard of. Likewise, none of those fools had any idea who the fuck these 80's hardcore punk bands I listened to were, I'm not
entirely sure any of them even knew "hardcore" came from punk rock. I'm pretty sure now all those kids listen to Kings Of Leon or Atmosphere......ha
record collectors are pretentious assholes
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JawnDiablo
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Hearing 40+ year old dudes singing about "the kids" is just....I dunno, not my thing.
Christ I'm 36 and my "kid" is nearly as old /as big as half the "kids".
the kids.....hogwash
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Colin
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| Quote: | Originally posted by juandiablo
Hearing 40+ year old dudes singing about "the kids" is just....I dunno, not my thing.
Christ I'm 36 and my "kid" is nearly as old /as big as half the "kids".
the kids.....hogwash |
I always laugh at the idea of an old, fat, bald CockSparrer playing "What's It Like To
Be Old" at their recent tours
record collectors are pretentious assholes
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JawnDiablo
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exactly.
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