jonnynewbreed
Posting Freak
Posts: 1091
Registered: 4-4-2003
Location: Dartmouth, nova scotia
Member Is Offline
Mood: Quite nice actually.
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Now this is a story.
Nova Scotia Mike is my brother and this is what happened to him on the weekend.
So we were supposed to do a little hike/camp this weekend but we aborted
> due to rain. No biggie, vehicle maintenance always occupies me on rainy
> days. First thing Sunday morning the wife decides she wants to cook a
> turkey so we go buy a fresh one, she pops it in the oven, and it instantly
> becomes warm, sunny and blue shy.
>
> Have fun cooking the turkey, I'm going for a ride. Fleece pants and jacket
> under Joe Rocket ballistic suit and I'm good to go.
>
> 5 hours and a few hundred kms later I'm almost home ... like about 2-3
> miles from my front door. It's dark and I'm pretty cold by this point.
> Every so often I'm sitting on my left hand to try to get some ass heat
> transferred to the fingers. Riding one handed on the CBR is easy as pie.
> I'm on a twisty road with sparse homes on the left and lake on the right.
> No shoulder; there's the white line, 4 more inches of pavement, a foot of
> dirt followed by a 10 foot tree covered slope leading to lake. I'm doing
> ~75 in a 50 zone (no place for cops to hide) and come around a sharp left
> turn to see a nice sized deer in the middle of the road looking quite
> stunned ... like I just caught it jerking off in the bathroom or
> something. What happened next was not thought about at all ... reflex took
> over. I'm not a religious man, but thank God for reflex. I veered towards
> the lake, riding on the white line but leaned into the middle of the road
> in an attempt to zip around my woolly street companion. As I started my
> veer towards the lake, Ms Deer also took action ... it decided to head
> towards the lake too. As I passed it, my teeth were clenched and my eyes
> near closed - I thought I was dead. As my headlight came within inched of
> it I could see right into it's right eye. Then it hit me. It was all over.
>
>
> But I was still riding. Upright. My heart was pounding like a freight
> train, my muscles were tense like a piano string about to snap, my
> sphincter quivering and I was panting ... but I was still upright. I
> yelled out "Holy Fuck!". Actually, I said that about a dozen more times
> before I got the bike slowed down and stopped. I sat on the dirt trembling
> in the dark repeating "Holy Fuck". No sign of Ms. Deer. My mouth was dry
> like cotton balls. There was deer fur in the ballistic material on my left
> elbow. I had smacked Ms Deer upside the head and somehow managed not to
> dump it into the lake.
>
> I said "Holy Fuck" about fifty more times as I slowly putted the rest of
> the way home ... not believing that I had not just wiped out. Still
> slightly trembling when I got home (to the smell of Turkey throughout the
> house) I walked up the stairs repeating "Holy Fuck" ... my wife
> intercepted me as she had strangers (Asian newly weds) in the kitchen who
> were looking to buy our old dishwasher that the wife had advertised in the
> newspaper classifieds. They bought the thing and I helped them load it
> into the vehicle ... but the whole time I kept repeating "Holy Fuck". I
> think they were scared of me.
>
> That was my closest call yet. After the fact ... I love adrenalin.
>
> Nova Scotia Mike
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BDx13
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nice. now i wanna hear the deer's side of the story!
If I fail math, there goes my chance at a good job and a happy life full of hard work.
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upyerbum
Posting Freak
Posts: 3226
Registered: 10-14-2005
Location: Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
Member Is Offline
Mood: Condemned 84
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So I was standing on the trail jerking off, and I see this bright light....
Well, its this place where nobody works, and the pigs don\'t give you any shit. Everyone smokes weed and gets drunk all day. Its a place where
cunts like me and you can truly take it easy and relax. Know what I mean?
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jonnynewbreed
Posting Freak
Posts: 1091
Registered: 4-4-2003
Location: Dartmouth, nova scotia
Member Is Offline
Mood: Quite nice actually.
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exactly.
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JawnDiablo
Posting Freak
Posts: 12139
Registered: 4-21-2005
Location: 1902666
Member Is Offline
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awesome story
glad you lived to tell it
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
Member Is Offline
Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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Steven King could not have told a better story.
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jonnynewbreed
Posting Freak
Posts: 1091
Registered: 4-4-2003
Location: Dartmouth, nova scotia
Member Is Offline
Mood: Quite nice actually.
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I'm glad my brother is OK. He is the best story teller around, I think he should write a book of short stories cos they'd be really funny.
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