thedog
Posting Freak
Posts: 1572
Registered: 5-14-2004
Location: Jersey
Member Is Offline
Mood: Deals Gone Bad
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jokes....
Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work." The boss
says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her I want sex. That makes everything
better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon......... You got nice house."
\"thank you very little\"
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XHonusWagnerX
Moderator
Posts: 12509
Registered: 7-14-2005
Location: pawtucket
Member Is Offline
Mood: hadDCore
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LOL!
| Quote: | Originally posted by REV.PAULIE
HONUS-as much as i can't stand a great deal of what you really like (for my own reasons that i would never hold,nor impose,against you),YOU FUCKING
RULE!
YOU,HONUS,IS WHAT MAKES THE "EDGE" COOL.
YOUR FRIEND,
PAULIE |
check out my post contributions at www.VinylNoize.com
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DaveMoral
Posting Freak
Posts: 4334
Registered: 1-24-2006
Location: Ardmore PA
Member Is Offline
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Hahahahaha classic
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thedog
Posting Freak
Posts: 1572
Registered: 5-14-2004
Location: Jersey
Member Is Offline
Mood: Deals Gone Bad
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As an airplane is about to crash,
a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces,
"If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks,
"Is there someone on this plane who
is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says,
"Here, iron this!"
\"thank you very little\"
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thedog
Posting Freak
Posts: 1572
Registered: 5-14-2004
Location: Jersey
Member Is Offline
Mood: Deals Gone Bad
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A blind man interviews for a job as a quality controller at the local wood mill.
The manager calls the blind man into his office and asks him
how he expected to do this job since he was blind.
The blind man replied he would do it by smell.
The manager decides to test him and places a piece of wood in front of him.
The manager asks, "What is it without touching it?"
The blind man replies, "That?s a good piece of fir."
"Correct,? says the manager, ?now try this one."
"That?s a bad piece of willow," says the blind man.
"Correct," answers the manager.
With that, the manager decides to play a trick on the blind man.
He get his secretary to lift up her dress and put her crotch in the
blind mans face. "I'm confused,? says the blind man,
?Can you turn it around?" The secretary turns around and puts her
ass in his face. The blind man says,
"Oh, you?re trying to fool me!
But I know exactly what kind of wood that is. It?s the shit house door off a tuna boat!"
\"thank you very little\"
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thedog
Posting Freak
Posts: 1572
Registered: 5-14-2004
Location: Jersey
Member Is Offline
Mood: Deals Gone Bad
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A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.
Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play."
Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with."
Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?"
Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed."
The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.
Mom : "Now what do I do?"
Son : "Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some fucking ice cream."
\"thank you very little\"
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XnMeX
Posting Freak
Posts: 3839
Registered: 4-11-2004
Location: Dirty Dover, NH
Member Is Offline
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Good shit, keep em coming.
Here's a short one...
2 Irish guys are leaving a bar.
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CR83
Moderator
Posts: 5221
Registered: 1-23-2004
Location: STL!
Member Is Offline
Mood: Harm's Way
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Blind Man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. Grabs the dog by the tail, picks him up over his head and starts swinging the dog around in the
air.
Bartender yells, "Hey, what the hell are you doing?!"
Blind man responds calmly, "Oh nothing, just taking a look around."
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Discipline
* DRUNKEN MONKEY *
Posts: 11900
Registered: 9-8-2004
Location: Over here
Member Is Offline
Mood: The Alley Dukes
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How do you make a woman cum?
WHO CARES????????
Just kidding ladies!
‘Do you know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun. Straight through your heart.’
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Discipline
* DRUNKEN MONKEY *
Posts: 11900
Registered: 9-8-2004
Location: Over here
Member Is Offline
Mood: The Alley Dukes
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An old classic.
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade
too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the
boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...... "
‘Do you know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun. Straight through your heart.’
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thedog
Posting Freak
Posts: 1572
Registered: 5-14-2004
Location: Jersey
Member Is Offline
Mood: Deals Gone Bad
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Why shouldn't women go skiiing?
Because there is no snow between the bedroom and kitchen.
\"thank you very little\"
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