Discipline
* DRUNKEN MONKEY *
Posts: 11900
Registered: 9-8-2004
Location: Over here
Member Is Offline
Mood: The Alley Dukes
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20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in box"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation!
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the atm, scream "i won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. Share this message with 5 friends .... It's called therapy!
‘Do you know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun. Straight through your heart.’
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crazyfists28
Posting Freak
Posts: 1367
Registered: 2-8-2005
Location: rochester, ny
Member Is Offline
Mood: dale watson
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i really want to do the first one just for laughs
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upyerbum
Posting Freak
Posts: 3226
Registered: 10-14-2005
Location: Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
Member Is Offline
Mood: Condemned 84
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7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
Sweet.
Well, its this place where nobody works, and the pigs don\'t give you any shit. Everyone smokes weed and gets drunk all day. Its a place where
cunts like me and you can truly take it easy and relax. Know what I mean?
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Voodoobillyman
The Artist Formerly Known As...
Posts: 4247
Registered: 8-12-2005
Location: Eastern Seaboard of the United States
Member Is Offline
Mood: my daughters beautiful curiousity
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i'm taking my wife out to dinner for her birthday, i will order diet water with a straight face...........more to follow.
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BDx13
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21. Drink
If I fail math, there goes my chance at a good job and a happy life full of hard work.
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