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Spoiler
Posting Freak
Posts: 1899
Registered: 4-23-2005
Member Is Offline
Mood: All that scene philosophy never meant a goddamned thing to me
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"It's been a wonderful year....for the roses"
I usually don't talk much about my personal life.....but things have been pretty shitty for me the last year or so. I've been financially supporting
my parents for well over a year now.They both are out of work and have no income except about $600 a month and the little my dad is able to make by
working side jobs.My dad is in very poor health.He no longer has insurance,so he has to pay full price for his meds and doc visits.I've spent my
entire savings and then some....I'm back to living check to check.
I have my own problems that I've been neglecting...I need sinus surgery,I have terrible back pain when I stand to long,I'm depressed all the time,I
have anxiety attacks and can't stand to be in public places around people,I hardly ever leave my house anymore,I've pretty much given up my social
life.I've always thought that I could deal with this type of shit on my own,but I now know that I need to get on some kind of medication.I could go on
and on.
This is the most I've said to anyone about my problems....and I'm not complaining,because some others have it alot worse then I do. I'm thankful for
the things that I do have and that I still have my parents to take care of. I'll be fine,it'll just take some time.This year has to be better.Blah
Blah Blah
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Enyo
Member
Posts: 337
Registered: 12-6-2008
Location: Va, USA
Member Is Offline
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Spoiler- Admittedly, I am against almost all depression/ anxiety meds. I feel like they are a bandaid.
In 2000 I had a car accident and had a pretty bad head injury. Before the accident I was a totally carefree person. I was one of those that would walk
along the edge of a 13 story building on a windy day, no problems. But when I woke up I was changed in some fundamental way. I was afraid of
everything. I had so many phobias it was ridiculous. The biggest ones were driving, crowds, dentists, metal objects (plastic fork anyone?) and
probably the biggest one was death. I was totally convinced that if I left the house I would die. and that if my husband left he would die. Each day
he went to work I paced and sobbed until he got home. No way to live right??
The first thing I tackled was driving. I woke up one morning and realized that if I kept living that way I should just die as I wasn't living at all
and was actually making my husband's life completely miserable. So it was either change or commit suicide. So that day I went out and sat in my car.
The next day I started the car. I know that seems like such a small simple thing, but my heart was racing. I was sweating and I think I cried a little
bit.
a week later I could drive around the block. A month later I could drive to the store. Now I drive everyday and it's nothing.
But it was that first step. That first day I put the car in drive and rolled forward a few feet that changed my whole life. I was able to eat with
metal forks. I was able to go to the walmart on saturday afternoon and not freak. I was able to go to the dentist (ok, so he specializes in people
with phobias, but still!).
My sister had a bad accident in 2004. She didn't have a head injury but she had major anixety about driving after. She had bad panic attacks. She went
to a therapist who put her on medication. She is still on that medication and is still nervous about driving farther than the 10 minutes it takes her
to get to work.
My only point is... YOU can do it. I am a weak pitiful example of a human being and if I can overcome my fear, you can too. If you want to take meds,
do it. If they help you take those first steps, great. but don't forget to TAKE those steps.
Wow.. I didn't intend to write a book. All that, just to say.. I hurt for you. I have been there. Please get help soon.
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Voodoobillyman
The Artist Formerly Known As...
Posts: 4247
Registered: 8-12-2005
Location: Eastern Seaboard of the United States
Member Is Offline
Mood: my daughters beautiful curiousity
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| Quote: | Originally posted by barc0debaby
My military ordeal finally came to a conclusion today after 4 months of wondering when they were going to cut me lose. That shit was stressful, but I
never compromised my work ethic or integrity despite the fact that I was getting involuntarily separated. I even got a personal letter of
recommendation for any future job applications from my commanding officer. So today was a very good day, I might be unemployed but its all good, I
am in a position where I can focus on defeating my alcoholism and I have my freedom back. Fuck yeah  |
Good Skipper, Nice to see the Navy taking care of you even when it is decided that both parties are not right for one another. I wish you all the
luck.
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Voodoobillyman
The Artist Formerly Known As...
Posts: 4247
Registered: 8-12-2005
Location: Eastern Seaboard of the United States
Member Is Offline
Mood: my daughters beautiful curiousity
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Furly
| Quote: | Originally posted by Voodoobillyman
I'm actually doing alright, family is happy and healthy, that makes me ok. |
That's really good to hear. After last year, you deserve to finally have the ball rolling in a positive direction. |
Thanks lady, all in all my time spent over there was cake compared to some. I have alot to be thankful for and I try my damndest not to take it for
granted ever.
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