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crazyfists28
Posting Freak
Posts: 1367
Registered: 2-8-2005
Location: rochester, ny
Member Is Offline
Mood: dale watson
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i have a weak stomach to begin with so i should expect the worst most days but i constantly put it to the test. i went to the nys fair and lets just
say i thoroughly enjoyed myself combining beer, wine, dinosaur bbq (chicken and ribs) more wine and beer , hot dog etc. as i was walking back with my
friend to the place where u pick up your wine my stomack began to rumble and i knew this was bad news, so we got the wine and began driving the hour
and a half back to rochester, all the while my stomach is cramping and uncramping like im having a friggin' baby!! i finally cant take it and we pull
into a rest stop on the thruway and i hobble into the restroom squeezing ass like im trying to create a diamond, the beast i unleashed still had the
sweet smell of red wine and bbq and i never felt so much better in my life..my friend was on her way towards the bathroom as i walked out cuz she was
concerned i was dying in there or something, i just hung out in there for awhile to take care of it for good...
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
Member Is Offline
Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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hahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahahaahaha
Damn thats a funny story. Glad to see you were rescued by the reststop. Does anyone ever stop and think about how great the UNITED STATES really are.
I mean we take our restrooms very seriously. You can almost always find one when in a crunch. I love my country and it's restroom policies
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crazyfists28
Posting Freak
Posts: 1367
Registered: 2-8-2005
Location: rochester, ny
Member Is Offline
Mood: dale watson
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i chose the big solo stall where i could let it all hang out, and not care at all, it was one of the best experiences of my life...no joke
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Discipline
* DRUNKEN MONKEY *
Posts: 11900
Registered: 9-8-2004
Location: Over here
Member Is Offline
Mood: The Alley Dukes
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| Quote: | Originally posted by clevohardcore
hahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahahaahaha
Damn thats a funny story. Glad to see you were rescued by the reststop. Does anyone ever stop and think about how great the UNITED STATES really are.
I mean we take our restrooms very seriously. You can almost always find one when in a crunch. I love my country and it's restroom policies
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My buddy moved to France a few years ago and told me it's completely different over there. You can't just walk into a restaurant or store and use the
bathroom. They are for customers only. He told me it's quite normal to see people pissing in full public view cause they don't want to pay to use a
washroom.
‘Do you know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun. Straight through your heart.’
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KyleOz
* CHOPS OF DOOM *
Posts: 826
Registered: 5-13-2003
Location: Middletown, New York
Member Is Offline
Mood: Social Distortion
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One morning I believe I was in 9th grade and I was cleaning pools as a summer job. I had a serious case of the stomach grumbles. So I cleaned the
bathrooms pretty well, what is the big deal using it right?
Little did I know that was the day the county health inspector decided to visit my park. I am half way through my business, and to let you know these
bathroom stalls didn't have doors. Next thing I know the health inspector and my boss walk in to see me doing the big #2.
One of the most embrassing moments of my life. Definite period of awkward silence occured.
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
Member Is Offline
Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.
OZ that is great. What happened after that. Did they bitch you out? or ignore you and let you continue? Did they laugh? or get really mad? I mean damn
when you got to go you got to go right? By law you can take a shit even when your on the clock.
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KyleOz
* CHOPS OF DOOM *
Posts: 826
Registered: 5-13-2003
Location: Middletown, New York
Member Is Offline
Mood: Social Distortion
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It was more like a "back away slowly and not mention anything" manuver. Unfortunately my boss or guy in charge of me told the other full timers and
they busted my balls for the rest of the summer.
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JawnDiablo
Posting Freak
Posts: 12139
Registered: 4-21-2005
Location: 1902666
Member Is Offline
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i love this shit
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Discipline
* DRUNKEN MONKEY *
Posts: 11900
Registered: 9-8-2004
Location: Over here
Member Is Offline
Mood: The Alley Dukes
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| Quote: | Originally posted by juandiablo
i love this shit |
Pun intended I assume.
‘Do you know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun. Straight through your heart.’
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Siczine.com
Posting Freak
Posts: 2351
Registered: 9-6-2005
Location: Philly
Member Is Offline
Mood: Cynical
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hahaha this shit is mint.
About a year ago I was roofing with this company and we were doing a house in Collegeville. I felt fine in the morning, no sickness or anything like
that but I didn't get much sleep so I drank way too much coffee to compensate for two hours of bad sleep, seriously like 72 ounces. Well, an hour
into the job I'm up on the roof and nailing shingles when all of a sudden I feel much stomach groaning and I knew I was going to have to take a dookie
but I said fuck it tried to fight it off, big mistake because 10mins later I'm running down the ladder clinching my cheeks, I looked for a spot to
shit because we didn't have the luxary of porta-pottys. Well, there was no areas I could take cover in so I hoped in the big dumpster we were using
to throw debris. I laid down on of the biggest shits of my life, and you know I didn't have toilet paper in my back pocket so to wipe I grabbed some
dingy shingle wrapper, and that shit wasn't easy on my ass let me tell ya. So I get out and feel so much better, 30mins later my boss comes over
flipping his lid because when he jumped into the dumpster he landed right in my mud puddle. Because the one dude I was working with has a history of
shitting in various spots and was laughing he assumed it was him, to this day I don't think he knows whose shit he really stepped in. After that
incident I always brough a roll of toilet paper with me.
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upyerbum
Posting Freak
Posts: 3226
Registered: 10-14-2005
Location: Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
Member Is Offline
Mood: Condemned 84
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| Quote: | Originally posted by newbreedbrian
a few years ago, a friend of mine left for work. what he also left was a big ass bag of jelly beans on the coffee table. enter rover.
snfff.......snffffff........munch......munch, the whole bag gone. now hopped up on sugar, he proceeds to run around in circles spraying the apartment
in liquid shit. jelly beans + rover = (from a third party perspective jelly beans +
rover =  ) |
I will keep this in mind.........
Well, its this place where nobody works, and the pigs don\'t give you any shit. Everyone smokes weed and gets drunk all day. Its a place where
cunts like me and you can truly take it easy and relax. Know what I mean?
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necrobutcher
Senior Member
Posts: 785
Registered: 12-30-2006
Member Is Offline
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Not as gnarly as some of the other stories but uneasy as hell. I was in east NJ for Chiller a few years back and stopped at a TGI Fridays afterwards.
Had to take a dump so went to the can. Stall 1 was clogged and overflowing with shitwater. Number 2 (unintentional pun) had the most inhuman looking
turd in it I have ever seen. I bite the bullet and shit on top of the freak turd. Not that gross but shitting on someone else's shit made me feel
unclean until I showered. I have seen some disturbing things in my time and have just shrugged my shoulders but that still makes me feel creeped out
over 3 years later.
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Kid Ugly
Senior Member
Posts: 738
Registered: 8-28-2005
Location: North Jersey
Member Is Offline
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Tijuana.
Drunk.
A stall in the back of a liquor store/barber shop combo.
'Nuff said.
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JawnDiablo
Posting Freak
Posts: 12139
Registered: 4-21-2005
Location: 1902666
Member Is Offline
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| Quote: | Originally posted by necrobutcher
Not as gnarly as some of the other stories but uneasy as hell. I was in east NJ for Chiller a few years back and stopped at a TGI Fridays afterwards.
Had to take a dump so went to the can. Stall 1 was clogged and overflowing with shitwater. Number 2 (unintentional pun) had the most inhuman looking
turd in it I have ever seen. I bite the bullet and shit on top of the freak turd. Not that gross but shitting on someone else's shit made me feel
unclean until I showered. I have seen some disturbing things in my time and have just shrugged my shoulders but that still makes me feel creeped out
over 3 years later. |
last thing you want is the "splash back" when someone elses pooh is rotting 9 inches below your gaping asshole
anyone ever see the comedian Shimmel on HBO?
he has a whole skit about this situation
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XHonusWagnerX
Moderator
Posts: 12509
Registered: 7-14-2005
Location: pawtucket
Member Is Offline
Mood: hadDCore
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mine isnt gross, but it was one of the scariest moments of my life! Im on the highway on my way home from work stuck in traffic and I gotta piss
REALLY bad. I knwo theres a rest stop up ahead so I pull in and run up to the door. There are no lights on inside and Im freeked. Stupidly I still go
in. I swing the door as wide as it will go and run to the urinal. I start to piss as the door closes. Im still pissing when the door shuts completly
and its PITCH BLACK in there. I start to edge closer to the door and Im still pissing when suddenly someone comes out of a stall..... I totally
thought I was going to get killed in that bathroom. I turned and ran out the door... jumped in the car and took off!
| Quote: | Originally posted by REV.PAULIE
HONUS-as much as i can't stand a great deal of what you really like (for my own reasons that i would never hold,nor impose,against you),YOU FUCKING
RULE!
YOU,HONUS,IS WHAT MAKES THE "EDGE" COOL.
YOUR FRIEND,
PAULIE |
check out my post contributions at www.VinylNoize.com
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Voodoobillyman
The Artist Formerly Known As...
Posts: 4247
Registered: 8-12-2005
Location: Eastern Seaboard of the United States
Member Is Offline
Mood: my daughters beautiful curiousity
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| Quote: | Originally posted by XHonusWagnerX
mine isnt gross, but it was one of the scariest moments of my life! Im on the highway on my way home from work stuck in traffic and I gotta piss
REALLY bad. I knwo theres a rest stop up ahead so I pull in and run up to the door. There are no lights on inside and Im freeked. Stupidly I still go
in. I swing the door as wide as it will go and run to the urinal. I start to piss as the door closes. Im still pissing when the door shuts completly
and its PITCH BLACK in there. I start to edge closer to the door and Im still pissing when suddenly someone comes out of a stall..... I totally
thought I was going to get killed in that bathroom. I turned and ran out the door... jumped in the car and took off! |
yeah, thats pretty hairy, I would have been creeped out by old boy hanging in a pitch black public stall, thats the stuff snuff films are made of.
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JawnDiablo
Posting Freak
Posts: 12139
Registered: 4-21-2005
Location: 1902666
Member Is Offline
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creepy
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Voodoobillyman
The Artist Formerly Known As...
Posts: 4247
Registered: 8-12-2005
Location: Eastern Seaboard of the United States
Member Is Offline
Mood: my daughters beautiful curiousity
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I was in A-school (for the Navy) in Meridian Mississippi and had a day off when I decided to take a walk to the NEX (Navy exchange, basically a
department store). It was a good mile or so from my barracks but it was a beautiful day so no worries. I take care of what it is I wanted to and I
start to head back to the barracks. I get hit with a HUGE cramp........you know,the kind that stops you in your tracks and makes you begin to sweat
instantly. I just stood for a few minutes clenching and praying. naturally it subsides and you know you don't have much time before it hits again with
even more force. I begin to walk very fast, my mind racing on whether I should try to make it back ( I was fairly close by then) or just b-line to a
good enough covered spot and shit it out. Well I gambled on making it back and just as I hit the door to my room, it comes back with a fury. I go into
my bedroon (shared with three other students) and the shitter is occupied! I know it's do or die now, so I run back into the common room and ask this
dude if I can use the shitter in his room while making my way there hastily anyway, he shrugs it off and I get to the shitter door and what do ya
know.................the fight was lost, just as I enter to unload I unload without removing my drawers! It was a cramp type shit so that tells you it
had some gurth. I spent the next 45 minutes trying to cover up the enormous mess I had just created. I know when I walked out old boy was wondering
what the fuck I had been doing in there and then realized it stunk real fuckin bad. Terrible yet funny.
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Voodoobillyman
The Artist Formerly Known As...
Posts: 4247
Registered: 8-12-2005
Location: Eastern Seaboard of the United States
Member Is Offline
Mood: my daughters beautiful curiousity
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I also have a quick one about a ladies room in Turkey where the door wouldn't shut, there was no toilet seat and alot of people women were trying to
intrude on my private time, not to mention I was shithoused in a magnificent fashion. Good times. Picture sitting in, not on, in a European toilet (
you guys that have been know what I'm talking about) while simultaneously clipping the shitter door with my feet and having a massive drunken shit
with screaming drunk bitches trying to batter in the door. Fun fun fun
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
Member Is Offline
Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. I love the old threads.
Each aspect of the soul has it's own part to play, but the ideal is harmonious agreement with reason and control.
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beaner
Member
Posts: 381
Registered: 9-11-2005
Member Is Offline
Mood: my kids chattin away.
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my story wasnt from a show but its baaaad.
18 month ago, i had to have an operation on my abdomen to remove an abcess (for the second time) and while i was in recovery at home i was getting
quite bad pains still so my consultant arranged for me to have a barium enema which is basically a pipe up my ass pumping some white liquid in my
lower intestines so's if there was a problem it would show up on an xray. so im led there with this thing up my ass and to doc's telling my to lie
this way and that way and takin loads of xray pics and this thing is killing me. anyways iget that thing out and i go to the toilet and 'empty' my
bowels and im feelin fine so i set off home. the hospital was only like 5 minutes walk from my house. then it happened, a killer pain in my gut and i
was like 'oh shit, here we go' and im in some serious pain here so's all i can do relieve this pain was to stand there and shit. so shit i did, white,
powdery shit because that was the colour of the liquid. i was fartin cause of the air thay had to pump up in there and i was like 'oh my god'. bearing
in mind it was about 2:30 in the afternoon and the street was quite busy and i was stood there, with a gurning face, shitting, stood up in public.
beat that sombody. (think i'll take a t-shirt for that one)
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JawnDiablo
Posting Freak
Posts: 12139
Registered: 4-21-2005
Location: 1902666
Member Is Offline
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| Quote: | Originally posted by beaner
my story wasnt from a show but its baaaad.
18 month ago, i had to have an operation on my abdomen to remove an abcess (for the second time) and while i was in recovery at home i was getting
quite bad pains still so my consultant arranged for me to have a barium enema which is basically a pipe up my ass pumping some white liquid in my
lower intestines so's if there was a problem it would show up on an xray. so im led there with this thing up my ass and to doc's telling my to lie
this way and that way and takin loads of xray pics and this thing is killing me. anyways iget that thing out and i go to the toilet and 'empty' my
bowels and im feelin fine so i set off home. the hospital was only like 5 minutes walk from my house. then it happened, a killer pain in my gut and i
was like 'oh shit, here we go' and im in some serious pain here so's all i can do relieve this pain was to stand there and shit. so shit i did, white,
powdery shit because that was the colour of the liquid. i was fartin cause of the air thay had to pump up in there and i was like 'oh my god'. bearing
in mind it was about 2:30 in the afternoon and the street was quite busy and i was stood there, with a gurning face, shitting, stood up in public.
beat that sombody. (think i'll take a t-shirt for that one) |
i have heard similar horrors from a guy i work with . he had to have one of thrm. but he seemed to like it
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XnMeX
Posting Freak
Posts: 3839
Registered: 4-11-2004
Location: Dirty Dover, NH
Member Is Offline
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I do an asshole thing just cuz I know it HAS to freak people out / piss them off... I pull on my goateee and pull out some nice long goatee hairs and
sprinkle them on the seat before I leave. Because i'm an asshole.
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joemaconmovies
Posting Freak
Posts: 1827
Registered: 6-22-2005
Location: Western Mass
Member Is Offline
Mood: pissed off
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i have actual horror stories but they aren't really funny ones, in my opinion. i can tell them if you guys actually want to hear it.
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XnMeX
Posting Freak
Posts: 3839
Registered: 4-11-2004
Location: Dirty Dover, NH
Member Is Offline
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I have a horror story about public bathrooms... It's called getting a job cleaning bathrooms at sears and having the very FIRST day of the job be
Black Friday. God damn did that job suck...
Also, I can awnser the age old question of which sex is more disgusting in bathrooms... WOMAN, they are fucking pigs in public restrooms. My fiance
worked the job with me and agrees 100%. Lets just say this... Period blood makes a great adhesive when a pad is slapped against a bathroom stall
wall.
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