TTF
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Real vs. Imagined Violence
Never Mind.
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GabeTexasGAMC
* GROWN *
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hahah i live in a world on psudo violence... kids talk so much shit, i step up and they back down.
Gays all of them.
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godabandonedme
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I'm a Police Officer in North Philly. (Most) of you don't know how disgustingly violent this world can be. It's always cool to sing about beat downs
an earning respect. But true violence, MURDER, RAPE, ETC. for the simplest of reasons is the type of violence that 90% of you (and the rest of happy
land) is not subjected to. About a month ago I broke a door down because of a radio call for an address that had shots fired from inside heard, what
we found was a 71 year old grandmother, 20 year old and 18 year old male, all shot exacution style in the back of the head. Over what? Disrespect
the crew? Nope, someone cheated at Madden. So take your brass knuckle shirts to a show and talk about violence.
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godabandonedme
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Anyway, this is what we walked into: http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/news/breaking_news/10972135...
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TTF
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I'm sorry I took down my original post after reading that, godabandonedme. Enormous amounts of respect to you and your job. I've been at the other
end of the violence, when it rolls into the emergency room. Nothing cute about a 16 year old N. Philly kid with 5 rounds in his chest and the
feathers from his down jacket all over the ER. Nothing hard or funny about a self inflicted GSW to the face, or the Medical Examiners office on a
Saturday or Sunday morning. I spent 3 months training at Lincoln Hospitals ER in the South Bronx, the 3rd busiest ER in the US. What you see is
sadness that is unimaginable to the average person, sadness that you carry with you and never forget. Fuck being hard or hardened. Life does it to
you enough, I don't need to add to it with the shit I listen to at home. Please U2U me sometime and maybe we can get together and hang out when I'm
in Philly, which is just about every weekend. Again, enormous respect, Todd.
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godabandonedme
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I appreciate and respect your response. I just find it funny alot when people are all about "violence" etc. The average kid listening to hardcore
anmore isn't from the streets, isn't from a broken home or have the trials and tribulations that many bands sang about and drew me to them with their
lyrics. I take hxc very personal, and it's almost offensive anymore the type of crowds that hxc draws. Granted, everyone is alowed to listen to what
the want and be into it as deep as they want, maybe I put myself and people like me on a pedostole(sic?) but I listened to hxc because I dug the music
(1.) and could relate to growing up a shitbag poor fuck in the inner city (2.) But the suedo-gangsta crew scene in hardcore makes me sick because 99%
of the kids listening to it don't know what true violence and despair is. Your boys get in a fight at a show or they dump on some poor kid there by
himself and people want to talk about violence and being tough, hxc is a joke. And Todd, much respect to you and your profession. My brother is a
surgical tech at John Hopkins in baltimore and he tells me horror stories from there. What alot of people forget is that the medical field and my
field are linked in that being a first responder I see these things before the people are sent off to the butcher shop. (No offense but I'm not a big
fan of hospitals)
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MyOwnWay
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Good Thread.
TTF, godabandonedme, Although we're not from the same streets, I appreciate what you guys do for the community. No bullshit thank you.
I also agree with your outlook on hardcore and violence the violence in it. I'm not gonna go in to some long story about my growing up but theres a
reason I'm a positive hardcore kid (adult?). Those bands like GB, side by side, insted, and even sick of it all I found those bands to be
inspirational. That was my outlet. The hope hardcore gave me that other kids lives sucked too, but if you see it thru, hold your head up, it'll get
better. Kids nowadays dont get that. Its the suburban and rich kids that are fucking it up. They wanna be "down" and be the toughest, cause shit for
themselves when they are blessed with an awesome opportunity in life to be someone. They fuck it up. I dont understand it. I've done alright for
myself in life, but dammit I had to work for it. These kids are handed a silver spoon and they fuck it up. It makes no sence to me. I'm done
ranting....
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TTF
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Thanks for the post, myownway. To me nothing is scarier than a kid that's trying to be hard with a weapon. People do some stupid shit to try to
prove that they are what they're not. Just for the record I am the farthest thing from a tough guy. I've been friends with the guys in Merauder, and
the sick bastards in the original All Out War, and bands like that, and THEY were tough guys. Didn't need to prove it, didn't need to pretend that
they lived "Five Blocks From The Subway" and when I spent time with them they were always nice quiet polite dudes that wanted to blow off some steam
playing music.
Here's one for ya: I want to own a big house, I want a dog and a wife, I wanna drive a fucking Mercedes, and I want to live on the Upper East Side of
Manhattan again. I love that shit. I don't loke the fact that I've eaten frozen waffles and frozen pizza for the last month and a half, I don't like
walking around with a bag full of change cos I have no fucking money, I don't like being a hateful dude with a horrible mental illness. I hate all
that shit and that's why I hate this whole manufactured violence thing. If you want violence go stand on the corner near Lincoln Hospital at
midnight, don't bring the violence, it'll come to you, and by some motherfucker that's more desperate and deranged than most of us will ever be.
Man, ithink I stopped making sense about a thousand words ago...
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Discipline
* DRUNKEN MONKEY *
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I hate all the "thug" shit going on in hardcore these days. Everybody trying to prove who's tougher, who's crew is the hardest, all the stupid shit.
I don't go to as many shows these days and I hate seeing that when I do go to a show. I'm there to see some bands I like, have a few beers, and enjoy
the show. I don't need to show off in the pit and do kung fu kicks. I miss the old days of hardcore and the style of bands and lyrics that got me
into it in the first place. I agree with TTF, I want a house too. I want to succeed in life and make something of myself. Fuck this down with the
streets shit. I'd like to one day have a good job and financial security. People say that I'm not a true skinhead because I want to move above the
blue-collar level but I say that's bullshit. Fuck the teenage mentality in hardcore these days. The violence and stupidity doesn't get you anywhere.
People need to wake up and grow the fuck up.
‘Do you know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun. Straight through your heart.’
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RomanticViolence
* Jennytailya *
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This is the best post i've read in awhile... Theres some actual fact to it and not alot if shit talk. Good Stuff.
Have you ever noticed how crayons are a lot like M&M's? All the colors tend to taste the same.
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TTF
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Man, I didn't even see that godabandoned me replied to my post. I still remember so clearly the violence that I faced as a hardcore punk in shitty
Poughkeepsie NY. The possibility of getting an ass kicking was there everyday and I was not a tough kid. To imagine that all those beatings I took
were so that some athletically minded frat boy retard can go around with his 'boys' and pick on the guy at the show that was probably alot like me,
quiet, shy, and mental, makes me fucking sick. I've got some advice-try boxing or muoy thai kickboxing, or play hockey. Step to Donald Brashear of
the Flyers BY YOUR SELF and I'll tip my hat to you. Picking the weakest kid in the heard and beating him down-I don't understand it.
I lived in Colorado for a while and most of the Denver shows were held in an abandoned meatpacking plant in some god forsaken industrila part of the
city. There were no security guards, no police, nothing; which meant that if you got in a fight it better be for a good reason because it wasn't
gonna be stopped and both guys or girls fighting were gonna get fucked up. That made you think twice about starting shit because that scene had a
pretty good way of policing itself. I don't understand things nowadays. I haven't even bothered going to a hardcore show in more years than I an
rememeber. Maybe I'm an old bastard crying sour grapes, so be it, but I took a lot of beatings for some of you motherfuckers and I resent it.
No offense on the butcher shop. Bad shit happens in hospitals too, and there's not always alot of compassion from the staff in the ER. Once you've
seen the 100th senseless act of violence you become numb. I try my best to never get that way. Can I win some kind of reward for the longest most
self important posts on the Thorp board? That would be mighty fine.
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godabandonedme
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TTF, if anyone knows (not to toot my horn because this isn't a good thing) about becoming callous towards violence/pain/just the horrors of the
everyday real world, it's me, and of course everyone involved in jobs like ours. At first things did bother me, but now, a homocide, rape, beating
whatever is so normal to me it's litterally a part of life. Short story: (Anyone from the tri-state area might have heard about this) So this 21
year old female college student from a shithole hood in germantown is murdered by her psycho boyfriend. He slices her throat, shoots her in the
forehead, then sets the house on fire to try to cover it up. If you've never seen/smelled a burnt body be glad, very glad. Anyway, this was one of
the few times I worked with a partner and was working the wagon. We had to transport the body to the Medical Examiners office. On the way down we
had our heads out the windows going 60mph it was that bad. So we inventory the body and I'll tell you that was a disturbing fucking site. Anyway,
for all the shit we've seen everyday in and out, this girl just bothered us what happened to her. So were on our way back to headquaters real quiet
like not talking. We had stopped to eat before that. (Now most people here wouldn't have been able to eat for a week if your not used to this shit.)
Again it was quite sobering and like I said were not talking much when my partner turns to me and goes, "you know what, that girl, she really didn't
do much for me" meaning lookswise. Now at first I was like everyone else thinking how crazy it was saying then, but then laughed my ass off for a
good 15mins becuase that's just the way we are and thats the way we have to deal with shit. Laugh about it, or go home and cry and like alot of
cops/fireman, put a gun to your head and use it because you can't take it anymore. Now I'm not looking for pity I just think it's a shame that anyone
including me HAS to become that way. That means we see so much horrible stuff that NOTHING bothers us, even the worst. I'm all for a good ass
woopin when someone deserves it, a fair one or whatever, but for people to preach about violence EXSPECIALLY when they wouldn't know true shit untill
they were shot in the head is ridiculous, sorry for the rant.
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TTF
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THANKS for the rant. Yeah, I've seen some raw shit, like the guy who pulled a gun on a priest in St. Pats Cathedral in Manhattan before putting it
under his chin and squeezing. His face was concave like a skateboard and looked like a rubber mask. Suicides/attempts bother me because of my family
history.
I understand the sick fucking gallows humor that you guys use. It's a matter of survival. I also hate dealing with psych patients-too close to home.
The saddest thing I ever saw though was when I was in the Bronx and this poor dude came in after jumping out a window trying to off himself and noone
in the ER would talk to him. I sat with him for a little while and he told me about his addiction to crack and heroin, how he was HIV+ from shooting
drugs and how his mom and sister both died of aids and how his sister caught it from sharing dirty needles with his mom. I just sat with him for a
few minutes and when we were done talking he thanked me and said all he ever wanted was for someone to sit and listen for a few minutes.
Shit like that reduces a very hardened motherfucker to nothing. Humbled and sad. I still can't think about it without tearing up. It's such a hard
balance because you have to be distant enough to do your job, but in my case I just can't completely give up on humanity because sometimes the best
thing you can do to help someone is just be kind and listen for a few minutes.
Your job is so different though. Everyday you're dealing with the dregs of this earth, people that are desperate and dangerous and don't think that
life is worth 2 cents. I'm sure you've had moments though where you even surprised yourself with your kindness and humanity. This definitely isn't a
topic for the brass knuckle guys and the predators but this is what my life is like anyway and it's good to see all sides. Take Care and be safe,
Todd.
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