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newbreedbrian
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Mood: doc watson
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| Quote: | Originally posted by defstarsteve
but is it as good as empire? |
sir, that is unpossible.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, ?You know, I want to set those people over there on
fire, but I?m just not close enough to get the job done.? George Carlin
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Jeff trhe Greek
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Location: Halifax N.S.
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I'm not really into the movies but The Knights of the Old Republic games have me hooked. I've wasted days playing those fuckin' games.
Don\'t blame me, I voted for Kodos.
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KyleOz
* CHOPS OF DOOM *
Posts: 826
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Location: Middletown, New York
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I fucking love KOTOR
I always played through the lightside first then next time around darkside.
The second KOTOR is good, but lacking, it is missing a whole bunch of stuff originally intended.
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defstarsteve
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i am glad I'm not the only nerd here
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KyleOz
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You are going to be a bigger nerd once I send you some mp3 cds, one chocked full of POWER METAL!!!!
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thedog
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if star wars are nerds...
i am also guilty
\"thank you very little\"
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thedog
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to all the other nerds
"may the force be with you"
\"thank you very little\"
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GabeTexasGAMC
* GROWN *
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HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMERFALL! LET US HAIL!
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thedog
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anyone play the new episode III game?
\"thank you very little\"
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defstarsteve
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http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/starwars
which nerd are you
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KyleOz
* CHOPS OF DOOM *
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That shit is hilarious
"I can't figure out why boys don't like me.."
I don't think I'd like her after a 18 pack
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defstarsteve
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star wars is the only thing coming on those tits
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thedog
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thats terrible
\"thank you very little\"
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BDx13
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| Quote: | Originally posted by defstarsteve
star wars is the only thing coming on those tits |
holy crap.
If I fail math, there goes my chance at a good job and a happy life full of hard work.
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defstarsteve
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what no comedy about nerds
come on guys...
i can't wait for mel brooks to finish space balls 2
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thedog
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only one man would give me the raspberry....
\"thank you very little\"
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Discipline
* DRUNKEN MONKEY *
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| Quote: | Originally posted by defstarsteve
what no comedy about nerds
come on guys...
i can't wait for mel brooks to finish space balls 2 |
Is he actually making one????? If so, I can't fucking wait. I'd also love to see him do a 2nd Blazing Saddles but that shit would never fly in
todays PC world.
‘Do you know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun. Straight through your heart.’
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thedog
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Discipline
Is he actually making one????? If so, I can't fucking wait. I'd also love to see him do a 2nd Blazing Saddles but that shit would never fly in
todays PC world. |
the sherifs an african american.
just would not be as funny.
\"thank you very little\"
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Joshcore
Newbie
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I think it will actually be pretty good. The last two weren't anything amazing, but this one looks promising.
I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
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thedog
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one more week....
\"thank you very little\"
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defstarsteve
Posting Freak
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okay nerds watch this one
funny as hell, no spoilers
http://storewars.org/flash/index.html
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thedog
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chewbroccoli - funny as hell
\"thank you very little\"
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BDx13
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From the current New Yorker...
SPACE CASE
by ANTHONY LANE
?Star Wars: Episode III.?
Issue of 2005-05-23
Posted 2005-05-16
Sith. What kind of a word is that? Sith. It sounds to me like the noise that emerges when you block one nostril and blow through the other, but to
George Lucas it is a name that trumpets evil. What is proved beyond question by ?Star Wars: Episode III?Revenge of the Sith,? the latest?and, you will
be shattered to hear, the last?installment of his sci-fi bonanza, is that Lucas, though his eye may be greedy for sensation, has an ear of purest
cloth. All those who concoct imagined worlds must populate and name them, and the resonance of those names is a fairly accurate guide to the mettle of
the imagination in question. Tolkien, earthed in Old English, had a head start that led him straight to the flinty perfection of Mordor and Orc. Here,
by contrast, are some Lucas inventions: Palpatine. Sidious. Mace Windu. (Isn?t that something you spray on colicky babies?) Bail Organa. And Sith.
Lucas was not always a rootless soul. He made ?American Graffiti,? which yielded with affection to the gravitational pull of the small town. Since
then, he has swung out of orbit, into deep nonsense, and the new film is the apotheosis of that drift. One stab of humor and the whole conceit would
pop, but I have a grim feeling that Lucas wishes us to honor the remorseless non-comedy of his galactic conflict, so here goes. Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan
McGregor) and his star pupil, Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen), are, with the other Jedi knights, defending the Republic against the
encroachments of the Sith and their allies?millions of dumb droids, led by Count Dooku (Christopher Lee) and his henchman, General Grievous, who is
best described as a slaying mantis. Meanwhile, the Chancellor of the Republic, Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid), is engaged in a sly bout of Realpolitik,
suspected by nobody except Anakin, Obi-Wan, and every single person watching the movie. Anakin, too, is a divided figure, wrenched between his Jedi
devotion to selfless duty and a lurking hunch that, if he bides his time and trashes his best friends, he may eventually get to wear a funky black
mask and start breathing like a horse.
This film is the tale of his temptation. We already know the outcome?Anakin will indeed drop the killer-monk Jedi look and become Darth Vader, the
hockey goalkeeper from hell?because it forms the substance of the original ?Star Wars.? One of the things that make Episode III so dismal is the time
and effort expended on Anakin?s conversion. Early in the story, he enjoys a sprightly light-sabre duel with Count Dooku, which ends with the removal
of the Count?s hands. (The stumps glow, like logs on a fire; there is nothing here that reeks of human blood.) Anakin prepares to scissor off the
head, while the mutilated Dooku kneels for mercy. A nice setup, with Palpatine egging our hero on from the background. The trouble is that Anakin?s
choice of action now will be decisive, and the remaining two hours of the film?scene after scene in which Hayden Christensen has to glower and glare,
blazing his conundrum to the skies?will add nothing to the result. ?Something?s happening. I?m not the Jedi I should be,? he says. This is especially
worrying for his wife, Padm? (Natalie Portman), who is great with child. Correction: with children.
What can you say about a civilization where people zip from one solar system to the next as if they were changing their socks but where a woman fails
to register for an ultrasound, and thus to realize that she is carrying twins until she is about to give birth? Mind you, how Padm? got pregnant is
anybody?s guess, although I?m prepared to wager that it involved Anakin nipping into a broom closet with a warm glass jar and a copy of Ewok Babes.
After all, the Lucasian universe is drained of all reference to bodily functions. Nobody ingests or excretes. Language remains unblue. Smoking and
cursing are out of bounds, as is drunkenness, although personally I wouldn?t go near the place without a hip flask. Did Lucas learn nothing from
?Alien? and ?Blade Runner??from the suggestion that other times and places might be no less rusted and septic than ours, and that the creation of a
disinfected galaxy, where even the storm troopers wear bright-white outfits, looks not so much fantastical as dated? What Lucas has devised, over six
movies, is a terrible puritan dream: a morality tale in which both sides are bent on moral cleansing, and where their differences can be assuaged only
by a triumphant circus of violence. Judging from the whoops and crowings that greeted the opening credits, this is the only dream we are good for. We
get the films we deserve.
The general opinion of ?Revenge of the Sith? seems to be that it marks a distinct improvement on the last two episodes, ?The Phantom Menace?
and ?Attack of the Clones.? True, but only in the same way that dying from natural causes is preferable to crucifixion. So much here is
guaranteed to cause either offense or pain, starting with the nineteen-twenties leather football helmet that Natalie Portman suddenly dons for no
reason, and rising to the continual horror of Ewan McGregor?s accent. ?Another happy landing??or, to be precise, ?anothah heppy lending??he remarks,
as Anakin parks the front half of a burning starcruiser on a convenient airstrip. The young Obi-Wan Kenobi is not, I hasten to add, the most
nauseating figure onscreen; nor is R2-D2 or even C-3PO, although I still fail to understand why I should have been expected to waste twenty-five years
of my life following the progress of a beeping trash can and a gay, gold-plated Jeeves.
No, the one who gets me is Yoda. May I take the opportunity to enter a brief plea in favor of his extermination? Any educated moviegoer would know
what to do, having watched that helpful sequence in ?Gremlins? when a small, sage-colored beastie is fed into an electric blender. A fittingly frantic
end, I feel, for the faux-pensive stillness on which the Yoda legend has hung. At one point in the new film, he assumes the role of cosmic
shrink?squatting opposite Anakin in a noirish room, where the light bleeds sideways through slatted blinds. Anakin keeps having problems with his dark
side, in the way that you or I might suffer from tennis elbow, but Yoda, whose reptilian smugness we have been encouraged to mistake for wisdom, has
the answer. ?Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose,? he says. Hold on, Kermit, run that past me one more time. If you ever got laid
(admittedly a long shot, unless we can dig you up some undiscerning alien hottie with a name like Jar Jar Gabor), and spawned a brood of Yodettes, are
you saying that you?d leave them behind at the first sniff of danger? Also, while we?re here, what?s with the screwy syntax? Deepest mind in the
galaxy, apparently, and you still express yourself like a day-tripper with a dog-eared phrase book. ?I hope right you are.? Break me a fucking give.
The prize for the least speakable burst of dialogue has, over half a dozen helpings of ?Star Wars,? grown into a fiercely contested tradition, but for
once the winning entry is clear, shared between Anakin and Padm? for their exchange of endearments at home:
?You?re so beautiful.?
?That?s only because I?m so in love.?
?No, it?s because I?m so in love with you.?
For a moment, it looks as if they might bat this one back and forth forever, like a baseline rally on a clay court. And if you think the script is on
the tacky side, get an eyeful of the d?cor. All of the interiors in Lucasworld are anthems to clean living, with molded furniture, the tranquility of
a morgue, and none of the clutter and quirkiness that signify the process known as existence. Illumination is provided not by daylight but by a
dispiriting plastic sheen, as if Lucas were coating all private affairs?those tricky little threats to his near-fascistic rage for order?in a
protective glaze. Only outside does he relax, and what he relaxes into is apocalypse. ?Revenge of the Sith? is a zoo of rampant storyboards. Why show
a pond when C.G.I. can deliver a lake that gleams to the far horizon? Why set a paltry house on fire when you can stage your final showdown on an
entire planet that streams with ruddy, gulping lava? Whether the director is aware of John Martin, the Victorian painter who specialized in the
cataclysmic, I cannot say, but he has certainly inherited that grand perversity, mobilized it in every frame of the film, and thus produced what I
take to be unique: an art of flawless and irredeemable vulgarity. All movies bear a tint of it, in varying degrees, but it takes a vulgarian genius
such as Lucas to create a landscape in which actions can carry vast importance but no discernible meaning, in which style is strangled at birth by
design, and in which the intimate and the ironic, not the Sith, are the principal foes to be suppressed. It is a vision at once gargantuan and
murderously limited, and the profits that await it are unfit for contemplation. I keep thinking of the rueful Obi-Wan Kenobi, as he surveys the
holographic evidence of Anakin?s betrayal. ?I can?t watch anymore,? he says. Wise words, Obi-Wan, and I shall carry them in my heart.
# # # #
If I fail math, there goes my chance at a good job and a happy life full of hard work.
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defstarsteve
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it stinks
just like all critics
you get paid to trash movies?
where do we all sign up?
get a fucking job
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thedog
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all the critics are doggin it.
this critic just seems like a tool, oh well, i am sure i will enjoy it.
even a sub par star wars movie is still 10 times better than most of the bullshit hollywood makes today.
george lucas must be a moron, he only created one of the most successful movie franchises of all times and he's a billionaire.
\"thank you very little\"
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