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Author: Subject: Thorpsters I need your advice
Lucabrasi
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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 08:32 AM
Thorpsters I need your advice


I got a situation and im not sure how to handle it.

A good friend of mine was engaged to a girl he had been seeing for the last 5 years. I know her very well, My friend, her and myself all went to the same college and we hungout and such. Anyways my friend is no longer engaged to this girl. They have both gone there seperate ways but have no resentment towards one another and still talk regularly. Now I've been talking to his ex for the last few months through e-mail and we're both at the same huge turning points in our lives so we can relate on alot of things. She says she wants to come up and visit me soon (and stay the night) so we can hangout and just talk and whatnot. I feel alittle uneasy about this because I dont want my friend to think im trying to get with his ex. I wouldnt do anything like that to my friend. At the same time I am friends with her so I dont feel like I should say that we cannot hangout because my friend might not like the idea.

Givin this info and placing yourself in my friends shoes would you feel wronged if a friend of yours (me) hungout with your ex-fiance or would you say no to the idea?
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newbreedbrian
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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 09:29 AM


bad idea man.



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clevohardcore
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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 09:52 AM


Bad idea if you like your friend. YOu may gain a girlfriend but lose 2 friends



Each aspect of the soul has it's own part to play, but the ideal is harmonious agreement with reason and control.
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Lucabrasi
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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 09:57 AM


im not trying to gain a g/f thats the thing. I sent my friend a e-mail about the situation. Told him to go with his gut instinct. I would feel better him knowing and being pissed about it then me doing it, him not knowing and living with the guilt.
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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 09:58 AM


Yeah, I would say avoid the complication.
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JawnDiablo
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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 10:09 AM


It's a weird situation.
My best friend and my ex (sons mom ) are also very tight.
They grew up in the same school and circle of friends and we were all close during our time together.
He's still friends with her. Nothing ever happened between them. Sometimes it was in the back of my mind but ya know.
I've also been in the situation where I somehow ended up in a physical situation with a friends ex and its never a good thing.
I dunno. Follow your gut instinct. Nothing wrong with being friends as long as it don't cross any lines.
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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 10:10 AM


It sucks because she is your friend, but it does sound like a situation that would upset your friend. Even if he didnt say anything he would resent it. Sorry.



Quote:
Originally posted by REV.PAULIE
HONUS-as much as i can't stand a great deal of what you really like (for my own reasons that i would never hold,nor impose,against you),YOU FUCKING RULE!

YOU,HONUS,IS WHAT MAKES THE "EDGE" COOL.

YOUR FRIEND,
PAULIE


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Lucabrasi
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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 10:15 AM


fuck....this is bad..
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defstarsteve
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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 12:20 PM


my best friend and his ex and I were in a similar situation

all were friends, actually I was her friend before I even met him....
life goes on they get married have kids and so on, we are all stil lfriends but he and I are really close
to the point where I saved the dude from killing himself, I mean down for life right...
I taught hin how to play guitar and got him started in a life of music

they get divorced because she was cheating on him, and he get's jealous that she and I were ever friends, starts to doubt me...
I am married and live about 1000 miles away

I don't even talk to her around the situation I take his side and tell him to move on and try to help him see thru it.
I had just been divorced so I knew how hard it could be and tried to stay tight with him...

and poof he's gone I haven't taked to him in proabably 2 years...
wont anwer his phone when I call, wont write, nothing...
dude has written me off, becasue of my friendship with her...
I don't know what she might have said to him, but there was never anything with her, so idk wtf happened to him...

I know he's alive and I know where he lives as I have other friends who see him, but he wont mention me...

so proceed with caution
do they still talk, has he met someone new
who ended their relationship....
why not do it in public and not have her spend the night...
tread lightly or lose a bro
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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 01:46 PM


Yeah, way to sticky a situation to even mess with it. Your intentions are one thing, you know what those are. But does she have any ideas? Know what I'm saying.

I'd avoid it like the plague.




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Jason the Magnificent
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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 02:16 PM


"Women are the devil"
-Robert Plant
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Six66Mike
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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 05:50 PM


If she was your friend too though I don't see the problem of 2 old friends hanging out and talking shit out. As you said you're not interested in her as a partner so fuck it, get together with an old friend and talk about life.



A lot of people ask me what kind of music I like. I love "soul music". My "soul music" isn’t a style, genre or niche. It’s music that is genuine. It’s a painful lyric, a dirty bassline, it’s a harrowing vocal, it’s feedback, it’s an anthem, it’s a love song, it’s anarchy. I’ve got my personal favourites but in the end it doesn’t matter who or where it comes from... so long as it’s good and it's real.
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Mark Lind
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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 07:24 PM


Dudes tend to get unpsyched when people spend time with their ex's. Regardless of what your intentions are that is his girl and you're putting your friendship on the line.



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morgan
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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 07:30 PM


Sounds like a fucked situation to me, go with whichevwer the lesser of the two evils is.



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[*] posted on 12-9-2007 at 08:18 PM


I say talk all you want from a distance. The whole 'spend the night' thing sounds like she wants more than a chat.



Quote:
Originally posted by REV.PAULIE
HONUS-as much as i can't stand a great deal of what you really like (for my own reasons that i would never hold,nor impose,against you),YOU FUCKING RULE!

YOU,HONUS,IS WHAT MAKES THE "EDGE" COOL.

YOUR FRIEND,
PAULIE


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20 1-color T-shirts for $100 at NewRepublic
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Lucabrasi
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[*] posted on 12-10-2007 at 01:27 AM


I completely fucked myself over regardless of what decision I make. This isnt the first time there has been problems between my friend, his other ex and myself. I got out of that situation and now got myself stuck right back in it but with another ex. I got one part of me thats trying to rationalize the situation and thinks its harmless. If he isnt man enough to tell me straight out that he doesnt want me too see her when I asked him if he minded then im very tempted to say " well tough luck kid, you could have told me but chose to beat around the bush" The other part is thinking the whole "Bro's before Hoe's" bullshit and that I should just stick to e-mails for the time being. However knowing him he would freak out knowing I've been talking to her through e-mail. All I can really do is sit back and laugh at the mess I've gotten myself into.
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Lucabrasi
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[*] posted on 12-10-2007 at 01:29 AM


Quote:
Originally posted by XHonusWagnerX
I say talk all you want from a distance. The whole 'spend the night' thing sounds like she wants more than a chat.


The whole spend the night thing is because she lives 3 hours away so spending 6 hours in a car for hanging out for not even that long isnt reasonable.
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[*] posted on 12-10-2007 at 09:59 AM


Like Honus said... the whole spend a night thing (regardless of the distance thing) definitely makes it weird.... Having been there before its a pretty good bet that you might end up in a tough situation. And once she's there and it's all in person you're gonna be put on the spot.... super uncomfortable no matter which way you go.

If you do go along with it hopefully you're not half the scumbag I am... I would probably tap it and regret it afterwards. Sometimes it sucks having a penis... no self control.




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Lucabrasi
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[*] posted on 12-11-2007 at 01:33 AM


My dick is trying to get the best of me in this situation. I wasnt even thinking about trying anything with her until my friend put the possibility in my head. Now its all I can think about. She tells me she has this nice dress shes gonna bring up for when we go out to a x-mas party (open bar). I really dont think I could bring myself to do that to my friend. The last time I got pussy was....wait.....this is 2007? fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. My friend is absolutely heart broken and told me he is seriously considering going celibate. Dude's in a bad place right now, if he found out I did anything with her he would probably kill himself and I couldnt live with that.
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[*] posted on 12-11-2007 at 01:59 AM


dude through that enzyte shit out the window and think with the big head
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Lucabrasi
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[*] posted on 12-11-2007 at 07:45 AM


lol, good thinking. That reminds me I need to call and cancel that.
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[*] posted on 12-11-2007 at 10:36 AM


Quote:
Originally posted by Lucabrasi
My dick is trying to get the best of me in this situation. I wasnt even thinking about trying anything with her until my friend put the possibility in my head. Now its all I can think about. She tells me she has this nice dress shes gonna bring up for when we go out to a x-mas party (open bar). I really dont think I could bring myself to do that to my friend. The last time I got pussy was....wait.....this is 2007? fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. My friend is absolutely heart broken and told me he is seriously considering going celibate. Dude's in a bad place right now, if he found out I did anything with her he would probably kill himself and I couldnt live with that.

This shit about the dress just confirms suspicions. And adding alcohol to the mix will just make it ten times worse. If you give a shit about your boy then this is absolutely a no go.

Unless you've got a good place to hide the body when you're done.....




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Lucabrasi
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[*] posted on 12-12-2007 at 09:47 PM


she doesnt have a myspace as far as I know. I'll take pics when she is up here though.
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[*] posted on 12-13-2007 at 04:48 PM


Quote:
Originally posted by Lucabrasi
she doesnt have a myspace as far as I know. I'll take pics when she is up here though.

When she's up there? I guess that settles that!

And yeah, pics are a must. Especially the NSFW type.




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